


Western Lovers: Cowboys and Geologists

by sassywitch (itsacapitalday)



Series: Western Lovers [3]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-29
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:46:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsacapitalday/pseuds/sassywitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title: Western Lovers: Cowboys and Geologists<br/>Beta by the talented hisniblets<br/>Pairing: SB/CP<br/>Rating: NC-17 for the series.<br/>Summary: Craig is bitter and broken, can the Sean soften both their edges enough for a good fit?<br/>Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. These men whilst adorable and perfectly happy to slash themselves, their actual relationship is something that they only know. This story is loosely adapted from a series of books that I adored when I was younger written by Elizabeth Lowell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Laying back against the crumpled bed sheets, curling in on himself, Craig wrapped his arms around his legs, his fingers twisted with pain as he grabbed at his soft sweatpants and moaned. His misshapen fingers, aching and stiff refused to close on the aged fabric and turned instead to beat against his useless pain filled limb. Perspiration beaded on his forehead, his teeth grinding together as pain surged through him with every single breath. Tears gathered in his eyes as he realized he couldn’t even feel his hands pounding on the twisted, wasting muscle in his thigh.

Bellowing in his suffering, desperate to escape the constant stabbing pain, he uncurled his body and sat on the edge of the wrinkled bed before rolling to his feet and struggling to stay upright.

“Please just stop,” He muttered brokenly. Trying to take a step forward, his damaged leg crumpled under him and he toppled heavily to the cold, wooden floor, grunting in pain as his shoulder bore the brunt of his weight.

Twisting his body until his chest was pressed against the chilled wood, he flattened his palms against the floor, willing his fingers to flatten against the floorboards. Cold perspiration beaded on his face as he pulled himself to one knee, his entire body trembling with the effort to hold himself upright. Fingers clawing at the front of the dresser he pulled himself upright, his chest heaving with exertion. Resting his weight on his elbows, he fought against the pain that rolled through his body like a tidal wave, threatening to overwhelm him.

As the wave of nausea passed, he swallowed convulsively before he reached across the dresser, his trembling fingers scrabbling in a small cigar box. Withdrawing a thick cigarette he grabbed for the lighter that lay on the rosewood dresser. Gripping it tightly, he drew his thumb clumsily across it cursing softly as he fought to create a flame. Pushing the cigarette between his lips, he leaned forward and shakily lit it.

“What were you told about that?”

“Fuck off.” Craig hid his surprise at his brother’s appearance as he took a deep pull of the cigarette between his lips and let his head hang onto arms that he folded against the edge of the dresser.

“That shite will only mess with ye’re medication.” Billy replied.

“A least I can think when I smoke.” Craig growled, “But I forget, Mr God Damned Fucking Perfect, I’m not the saint you are.”

“Craig?” Billy murmured stepping closer.

“I’ll deal whatever way I can.” He spun to look at Billy, stumbling as he fought to stay upright. “It’s all your fucking fault, just fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Craig…” Billy started again.

“Just go, please.” Craig’s anger faltered at the sorrow in his brother’s voice.

Billy ran shaking fingers through his hair as he watched his brother struggle with his pain. “Will you talk to Dom? He asked quietly.

“What for?” Craig groaned as he flopped on the bed, straightening his leg, the heel of his hand pressed down on his tortured muscles.

“You can’t sit here all alone in the dark all day, Criag.” Billy stepped closer, sinking onto the edge of the bed beside him.

“Hasn’t hurt so far.” Craig took another long pull of the cigarette and offered it to his brother.

Billy shook his head. “Dom gives amazing massages, he might be able to help a little with the pain.”

Craig snorted derisively, “think he’ll take care of all my aches for me?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Craig.” Billy almost smiled at Craig’s humourous response.

“I’m serious.” Craig looked up at him, his eyes cold and flinty. “I’ve got needs bro, just like everyone else, who knows it might take away the pain for a while.”

Ignoring the obvious jibes designed to incite his anger, Billy took a deep breath. “What can I do to help you?” Billy asked, his hand lingering over Craig’s forearm, unable to ignore the need to share his affection with him.

“What you should have done.” Craig spat and turned away from Billy and the gentle touch he craved.

“I couldn’t…I wouldn’t let you die, Craig and I don’t regret pulling you out of that pit for a second. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, but I won’t feel guilty because I kept you alive.”

“David took my gun away.” Craig answered absently, pressing the cigarette to his lips again.

“You wouldn’t?” Billy’s eyes widened.

“Damn straight, I had the gun loaded and he took it away.”

“Fuck!!” Billy cursed wildly as he stood, pacing frantically back and forth. He looked at his brother and cursed again. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Because of you.” Craig shrugged. “He knew you’d do exactly what you’re doing now.”

Turning to look at his brother, Billy took in his haggard features, ashen skin and red rimmed eyes. Sucking in deep calming breaths he struggled to calm his nervous anxiety before he spoke.

“What is it that I’m doing?” he asked quietly.

“Fucking freaking out.” Craig shrugged. “Knew you would, so did he. It just about kills you to think that someone, least of all one of us wouldn’t want to keep up this miserable existence. But what makes it worse is you have no control over what we do. I should have just pulled the trigger when I had the chance.”

Billy inhaled sharply; Craig’s threat had cut through Billy’s emotions like a hot knife through butter. His hands trembling, he jammed them into his jeans pockets. He quickly broke eye contact with his brother and studiously watched the ground until he could control the sharp sting of tears that had threatened to overflow as he realized exactly how deep Craig’s pain ran.

Looking up again, he studiously watched a spot on the wall just over Craig’s left shoulder.

“You know what? I’m not doing this with you now. You sit here and smoke that crap and do whatever it is that you do. I’ll come back later when you’re in a better mood and we can talk then.”

Craig snorted. “Good luck with that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Billy’s gaze snapped to Craig’s face, trying desperately to read his emotions.

“A….Mood will only improve when the pain goes away. It hasn’t yet, at least not since I’ve been conscious, so really there’s no point coming back is there, because B my mood isn’t going to improve.”

“I’ll be back later.” Billy assured him his hand closing on the door handle, “I’ll bring your supper.”

“Don’t bother, I’m not hungry.”

“You’ll eat it, or I’ll feed you.” Billy assured him.

“we’ll see.” Craig shouted as he threw a pillow at the door closing behind Billy.

The thick feather pillow hit the door, shaking it on its hinges before dropping harmlessly to the floor.

Craig flopped back onto the bed, pressing the cigarette between his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: Western Lovers: Cowboys and Geologists  
> Beta by the talented billyhasmyheart  
> Pairing: CP/SB  
> Rating: NC-17 for the series.  
> Summary: Craig is bitter and broken, can Sean soften both their edges enough for a good fit?  
> Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. These men whilst adorable and perfectly happy to slash themselves, their actual relationship is something that they only know. This story is loosely adapted from a series of books that I adored when I was younger written by Elizabeth Lowell.

Sean stood just inside Craig’s door, listening to the sound of water running in the bathroom, his eyes searched the room quickly. Seeing the plumes of steam billowing from the bathroom, he set the tray holding their meals on the table just inside the door and moved slowly towards the bathroom.

Fully intending to announce his presence to the younger man before he reached the steamy room, Sean stopped dead in his tracks as he caught sight of Craig. Standing inside the glass shower enclosure, Craig stood with his arms braced against the wall, the water cascading across his strongly muscled shoulders, streaming down his back and across his taut buttocks.

His mouth went dry as he watched the rivulets of water running across Craig’s pale skin. One leg held his weight, his other barely touching the slick floor, almost as if he didn’t trust the scarred and twisted muscles in his thigh to hold his weight in the slippery environment. Sean could only imagine the pain and damage inside his leg, the ugly and intensive scarring the once strong leg was testimony to the numerous surgeries that Craig had endured.

“You do know that I’m only a cripple, not deaf?” Craig’s voice resonated from the bathroom.

Sean’s eyes lifted expecting to meet Craig’s gaze, but he hadn’t moved from his position against the tiled wall.

“I know, but you’re no cripple.” Sean almost stammered, “I’ll give you a minute.”

“Why? Haven’t got anything I haven’t,” Craig twisted the spigots off and turned to face Sean.

“Trust me, I’m not packaged nearly so well.” He laughed.

“Doesn’t look too bad to me.” Craig replied quietly, his eyes downcast, he hopped a few steps to the vanity unit and lifted his soft fluffy towel. Giving himself a cursory rubdown he fastened the towel low around his hips.

Running his fingers through his wet hair, Craig looked up at Sean.

“So why are you here? Or is it entertain the gimp night?”

“Thought I’d save you and Billy the heartache and I’d bring you your supper tonight.”

“Maybe he should learn to just leave it here.”

“Maybe you should come down to eat with your family.”

“I don’t need their pity.” Craig retorted sharply.

“We had steak and vege tonight, didn’t see any pity on the table.” Sean replied calmly.

“Don’t be a smartass.” Craig snarled.

“I wasn’t. They’re your family and they love you, they don’t pity you.” Sean tried to explain.

“Don’t bullshit to me Sean.” Craig looked into his face, “I see the pity in their eyes every time they look at me.”

“I didn’t take you for stupid.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Craig maneuvered himself to the edge of the bed and sat down heavily.

“That’s not pity you silly prat, it’s not even sympathy, they see you suffering, it’s concern, they love you and they don’t like to see your pain.”

“Then I’m saving them by staying in my room, no sweat.”

“Fuck, you’re a stubborn bastard” Sean growled as he took a plate from the tray and moved closer to the bed. “Dinner or massage?”

“Is there any choice?” Craig lifted an eyebrow as Sean thrust a plate holding toasted sandwiches in front of him.

“Not that I can see.” Sean grinned, and sat on the side of the bed. His hand resting lightly on Craig’s injured leg, unconsciously tracing the thick scar under his palm with his thumb. “Eat and then we’ll see about making you feel better.”

“Then you eat too.” Craig extended the plate to his companion.

“It’s your supper, Laddie.” Sean grinned.

“It’s not fun to eat alone.” Craig replied gently, lifting a thick sandwich from the plate and bit into it hungrily.

“Then why the fuck do you sit here all alone meal after meal.” Sean asked softly, his thumb brushing back and forth across the scarring as he watched Craig eating.

“Because I can’t stand seeing their pity, sympathy, concern, whatever it is.” Craig murmured, his eyes downcast. “Because it hurts too fucking much to hobble over there and back again. Because I used to be able to move and look after myself, now I’m hard pressed even using the bathroom on my own.”

“Then let me help you.” Sean asked quietly.

“Nobody can help me.” Craig put his food down and pushed the plate across the bed.

“I can, and if you’ll let me, I will.” Sean replied confidently.

Craig dipped his head, his chin pressed against his chest as he refused to look up into Sean’s face. “You’re the last person I want to help me.”

Sean immediately recoiled, he pulled his hand back. “I’m sorry.” He drew a deep, calming breath then hooked a hand under Craig’s chin forcing him to look up into his eyes. “I’ll leave you be if that’s what you want, but I want you to explain why first.”

Craig’s eyes shimmered emotionally; he swallowed convulsively before he spoke. “I’m still a man, Sean.” Was all he could manage without emotion quivering in his voice.

“I never thought you were anything less.” Sean replied quickly.

“If this,” Craig waved one clenched hand toward his leg quickly, “Hadn’t happened, we would have been fucking like bunnies by now, instead we’re like this, I’m like this. I can’t stand the pain, let alone myself.”

“Firstly, you don’t know that,” Sean shrugged, “secondly, I don’t just fuck and run, I don’t do that, not to you, not to me. I have relationships, and isn’t that what we have? So really, we’re exactly where we would have been right? Let me help you. Let me make it easier for you. I’ve been here, Laddie, I can help.”

“This is sure as hell going to make you want to shag me isn’t it?” Craig snorted, gesturing angrily at his leg.

“Honey you could be two hundred pounds heavier, two foot shorter and allergic to me before I wouldn’t want you.” Sean pressed his hand firmly against Craig’s damaged thigh, his fingers pressing into the tortured flesh, massaging as he spoke.

“That’s not the point, Sean.” Craig sighed. “I want to be the man I was when you met me, not a broken shadow.

“You’re not broken, Craig.” Sean whispered, leaning forward to cup Craig’s face, rubbing his thumb across his cheekbone. “You’re a wee bit damaged at the moment, but we’ll fix you, and even if we can’t I’m not going anywhere.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sensing movement behind him, Craig flicked his gaze towards the mirror and watched as Sean leaned against the bathroom door frame. He arrived at the same time every day. Every single day for the last seven days, Sean arrived like clockwork.

“That’s getting to be a habit, Sean.” Craig spoke wryly.

Sean grinned broadly as he unabashedly watched Craig as he stood in front of the wash basin, a clean white towel wrapped around his hips, his face lathered as he shaved.

“Can’t much help it when you’re always in the bathroom when I visit.”

“A gentleman would change the time of his visit.” Craig smiled as he put the razor on the bench top and leaned forward to wash the excess soap from his face.

“Never claimed to be a gentleman. I was beginning to think you were trying to seduce me.” Sean added, his smile belying the tone of his voice.

“Honey, if I was doing this right I wouldn’t need to seduce you.” Craig murmured.

“You don’t.” Sean whispered huskily, his eyes fixed on the muscular curves of Craig’s back.

Craig turned to look at the older man quickly, “I don’t?” he whispered unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

Seeing his words being misunderstood, Sean made the three long strides it took to reach Craig and lifted one hand to cup the newly shaven cheek, his thumb brushing across Craig’s bottom lip, his eyes followed Craig’s tongue as it nervously flicked out to taste Sean’s thumb.

“You may not have noticed but I was seduced the minute I saw you.”

“I’m just a broken old soldier, Sean.” Craig responded guardedly, “You’ve obviously been alone far too long.”

Craig searched Sean’s face, desperately searching for the truth in his words and the intensity in Sean’s gaze blazed as his thumb flicked again and again. Opening his mouth, Craig closed his teeth gently on Sean’s thumb, reassured by the startled groan that bubbled from Sean.

“Careful, Soldier Boy, I’m not feeling much like retreating tonight.” He whispered his voice gravelly.

“Who said anything about retreat?” Craig breathed, allowing his tongue to swirl around the tip of Sean’s thumb.

Unable to resist, Sean leaned down and pressed his lips to Craig’s. One hand moved to cup the back of his head, the other slid down his back to gently cup Craig’s towel covered buttocks and pull him in closer.

“If I thought you were ready for what I want to do with you, you’d be horizontal right now.” Sean whispered against his slightly parted lips.

“Who says I’m not ready?” Craig murmured, each word brushing his lips against Sean’s.

“I do.” Sean spoke into Craig’s mouth as he leaned the final distance to seal their lips.

His tongue brushed across Craig’s lips, flicking back and forth tasting Craig’s minty breath before Craig opened his mouth for the tender caresses. Sean’s hands ran up and down the length of Craig’s muscular back, returning to cup his buttocks and pull him tightly against him.

Losing himself in the kiss, Craig’s own hands clutched at Sean’s back pulling him closer, wanting, needing to feel him as close as he possibly could.

“Please, Sean?” Craig murmured against Sean’s lips, “Please?” his words were a breathy plea against Sean’s mouth.

“Please what, Lad?” Sean cupped the back of Craig’s head to pull him down to his shoulder. Both of them were breathing heavily, and Craig was wobbling on his good leg. Sean wrapped one arm around Craig’s waist and steadied him without thinking.

“Don’t tease me, just take me to bed.” Craig pleaded.

Sean pulled back slightly, cupping Craig’s face to look into his eyes for long moments before he spoke huskily. “Not yet, soon, but not yet, no matter how much I want you.” One hand slid down Craig’s body to pull their hips closer together and rubbed himself against the younger man.

“I don’t want to wait.” Craig breathed, his eyes falling closed as he reveled in the sensations Sean was creating.

“We’re waiting, you’re not ready for this.” Sean murmured, stepping back from the temptation of Craig’s touch.

“Not ready for fucking what?” Craig replied testily, turning away from Sean and leaning against the sink as he struggled to regain control of his body.

“Not ready for the relationship I want with you.” Sean answered quickly. “Turn around and look at me, Craig.”

“Fuck off, Sean.” Craig replied bitterly, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

“Look at me.” Sean whispered, one hand reaching out to trace the curve of Craig’s spine. “Please.”

“What for?” Craig sighed as he turned, his eyes fixed on Sean’s feet. “So you can tell me what a gimp I am and you don’t think we’ll work?”

“If that’s what you fucking think then maybe I should just walk out of here right now.” Sean growled and began pacing angrily back and forth, before stopping to look at Craig desperately. “If you had any idea how I felt you would never have said that.”

“I’m sorry.” Craig murmured as he watched Sean’s agitation.

“No you’re not. And I get it, really I do. When I had my fall I hated feeling so fucking useless that I was sure I was a burden on everyone around me, but I had to work it out for myself. You need to do the same thing but never, ever doubt that I want you Craig.”

“I figured that much out myself.” Craig glanced down at Sean’s groin and back to his face.

“Not just for a quick fuck, Craig. I’m ready to settle down. I want a relationship, Soldier Boy. I want you and a relationship. Long term. Do you get it yet?” he asked exasperatedly.

“Get what?” Craig frowned, leaning all his weight on his good leg, he toppled forward only to be caught in Sean’s outstretched arms.

“I won’t be your rebound, I won’t be the one you fuck and leave. I want the rest of our lives, not just tomorrow.” Sean murmured as he pulled Craig tightly against him. “If you can’t deal with that then I’ll walk out right now.”

Craig dragged himself out of Sean’s arms, leaning heavily on the wall as he struggled to regain his balance. “Then fucking walk out. I don’t need you and I don’t want happily ever after, all I want is a fuck-buddy.” He spat at Sean before grabbing his cane from where it hung on the towel rail and hobbling into the bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Sean strode into Craig’s room before sunrise, he paused for a moment beside the bed his green eyes hungrily drinking in the sight of Craig. Obviously suffering from a restless nights sleep, Craig lay tangled in rumpled sheets, naked to the waist, one arm flung across his eyes as he snored softly.

Dropping the coveralls heavily to the bed, Sean felt almost guilty as Craig exclaimed noiselessly, his arms flying up to protect his face from whatever evil had beset him. As Sean watched Craig’s fear wide, glassy eyes had focused and his mind had returned from whatever horrors it had seen just enough to realize he was in his own bedroom.

“What?” he asked quickly unable to disguise the residue of fearful tremor in his voice.

“Get up.” Sean spoke sharply, “I’m sick of seeing you mope around here all day. Put them on.” He gestured at the coveralls. “You will come down to the main house for breakfast and you’ll be working with me today.”

“I can’t do bloody ranch work, Sean.” Craig bemoaned, “Don’t you get it I am useless here.”

“That’s bollocks and we both know it.” Sean replied calmly. “It’s not ranchwork. You’ll be helping me. You won’t even have to stand. All you need is your fingers.”

“And I don’t suppose you’ve noticed that I’m less than equipped with them as well?” Craig held up his hands, showing Sean the scars crisscrossing his knuckles and the misshapen shape of some of his digits.

“Neither am I.” Sean answered, showing Craig his own badly scarred fingers, “But I cope and so will you. So do you have any more half assed excuses or are you going to get your sorry lazy arse out of this bed and be a real human or are you just going to continue pissing away the life you’ve been given.”

“Fucking leave me alone.” Craig growled rolling away from Sean in the bed.

“I’m not Billy, the guilt trip won’t work on me so you may as well forget it. The way I see it Parker, you have two options. One, you can lay here and vegetate and piss away everything your family sacrificed to keep you alive and feel sorry for yourself that you still have a life. Or, you can get up and realize that you can’t do the things you used to, but you can do other things.”

“I didn’t’ ask my family to sacrifice anything.” Craig spat, his face buried in his pillow.

“No you didn’t but both of your brothers nearly lost everything to find you and bring you home. Neither of them will ever tell you that because they love you. But it’s about time somebody gave you the full picture. It’s taken them their whole lives to find the happiness they have now and they gave that up without a thought of themselves, not because you asked for it, not because it was expected of them, they did it for you. They didn’t have to do it, but they’re good honorable men and couldn’t not save you.”

Craig hesitated for a brief moment before he shrugged further away, pulling his bedclothes higher and rolling away from Sean. His action pulled at his sleep stiffened muscles, a harshly indrawn breath the only response he would allow himself in Sean’s presence.

“Fuck off Sean. I didn’t ask them to do it and I don’t need a babysitter.”

“From where I’m sitting that’s exactly what you need.” Sean replied. “Now get up and get dressed or I’ll do it for you.”

“Where’s Billy?” Craig rolled onto his back glaring at Sean.

“With his family. You don’t seem to want him here so I told him that I’ll look after you for a while.” Sean answered impassively.

“What the fuck does that mean? I’m his family too.” Craig sat up, startled.

Sean lifted the coveralls off the end of the bed and threw them at Craig. “Than start acting like it. All you are at the moment is a spoilt brat that throws everything back into your brothers face. You might be the one in physical pain but you’re killing him. I’m not going to let you do that. He’s a good man, Craig, you’ve got to stop hurting him.”

“He didn’t have to bring me back.” Craig replied stubbornly, his fingers twisting the coveralls. His other hand unconsciously kneaded the knotted muscles in his thigh.

“No. He didn’t. But think about it, if it had been Billy wouldn’t you have done everything in your power to bring him back?” Sean sat on the edge of the bed.

“Billy? I wouldn’t have come home without him.” Craig shrugged, “He’s my brother.”

“Then stop punishing him for doing exactly what you would have.” Sean reasoned with him.

Craig fell silent, his fingers awkwardly plucking at the fabric of the coveralls. Sean watched him as he drifted through his thoughts, his fingers itching to reach out and touch the younger man, to ease him through the pain he knew he was suffering.

“Do you trust me, Soldier Boy?” Sean asked quietly, his voice rough and husky in a near whisper. Unable to watch Craig directly, he turned his head to watch his reflection in the mirror on the dresser.

Craig’s brow furrowed as he pondered the question and Sean watched as Craig’s eyes raked over his back, his pain ravaged fingers lifting to reach out and touch him but dropping back mere inches from Sean’s back.

“Do I have any choice?” Craig replied, his stubborn pride firmly shrouding whatever emotion had briefly flared.

“Of course you fucking do.” Sean stood, annoyed with his own dismay.

“Why should I trust you Sean?” Craig asked, pushing the coveralls away and sliding closer to the edge of the bed.

“You shouldn’t.” Sean shrugged, plunging his hands into his pockets and turning to look out the window at the signs of the ranch coming to life for another day. “But I’m the only one here who knows what you’re going through, you might like my help.”

“How the fuck can you know what I’m going through.” Craig responded.

“Because I’ve been there, I’ve told you that already.”

“You couldn’t possibly have been like this.” Craig gestured to his own body.

“Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re the only one.” Sean answered flatly, “Ten years ago I was surveying in the subcontinent. We didn’t have much man power so we went out in teams and separated to cover more ground more quickly. Being alone didn’t concern me at the time, I work better alone. But there was an earthquake. I ended up in the bottom of a brand new ravine. My leg broken.” He held up one large hand. “This hand was so badly crushed that they didn’t think they would save it. Hell I remember thinking that the pain didn’t matter because I didn’t think they were going to find me. I thought I was going to die there.” He shuddered at the sudden influx of scrambled memories that he still struggled with. “Livvie did. She wouldn’t let them give up. She flew down there and harangued and harassed them until they expanded the search. I was out there for four days. I don’t even remember them finding me. First thing I clearly remember is waking up back here. Two full weeks after the quake. Eighteen months after that I finished physio.”

He looked up at Craig, “So don’t you tell me I’ve got no idea what you’re going through.”

Shaking his head, he turned on his heal and walked out slamming the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

Pushing the door open with the end of his cane, the rubber stopper on the end squeaking as it slid across the painted wood.

Wincing as the door slammed against the wall with the force of its opening and the room full of hungry men turned to look at the noise.

Embarrassed, he turned his attention to crossing the polished wood floor. Each halting step an achievement, a cold sweat broke across his brow as sharp pain stabbed through his thigh. The noise as a chair clattered against the floor, pushed by a booted foot startled him. His eyes followed the leg that had kicked the chair back, finding Sean hadn’t even looked at him as he continued to eat from the mountain of scrambled eggs on his plate.

As he stood there, he watched as Billy pushed his chair back and stood, intent on helping Craig to his seat.

“Sit down, Ramrod. He’s fine.” Sean spoke.

“He needs help.” Billy stated, concerned.

“He’s in the room.” Craig muttered annoyed at them speaking about him as if he wasn’t there, moving ever closer to the proffered chair.

“You’re in pain.” Billy hissed as Dom’s hand closed over Billy’s wrist.

“He’s fine, Billy. Aren’t you, Soldier Boy.” Sean looked up at Craig.

“If you say so.” Craig answered through gritted teeth as he dropped into the chair. Hooking his cane on the edge of the table, he gripped the seat of the chair and pulled himself closer to the table.

“See?” Sean looked up at Billy. “All good.”

Billy sank back into his chair, his eyes narrowed as he watched his baby brother closely.

Sean poured a glass of juice and pushed an empty plate in front of Craig.

“I can’t.” Craig hissed under his breath.

“Then don’t eat.” Sean shrugged.

“Don’t be an asshole, Sean.” Billy stated, his muscles bunching as he flexed his arms ready to push to his feet and protect his sibling. Dom’s hand on his thigh the only thing keeping him in place.

Craig’s eyes met Sean’s as Billy spoke.

“Stay out of it, Pip.” Craig responded his eyes never breaking Sean’s gaze.

“He’s fine.” Sean replied as he pushed the pan of eggs closer to Craig.

Billy’s eyes narrowed as he watched but he sat down without further conversation or interference.

The possibility of an altercation diffused, the rest of the hands went back to their own breakfast, heads down over their plates all wanting to avoid the wrath of their ramrod, thankful that their Segundo was away at his new house for the week.

Craig clumsily gripped the heavy cast iron pan and ladled some onto his plate. He dropped the pan back onto the table top with a clang. One of the hands passed him a plate of bacon which he plunged a shaky fork into, lifting several rashers onto his plate.

Sean passed the plate of toast and waited while he took a couple of slices and put it back on the table.

Realizing that he was no longer the centre of attention, Craig breathed deeply in relief. Closing his fingers around the handle of the fork, he struggled to balance the egg on the tines as his quivering muscles shook.

Wordlessly and without looking up, Sean pushed a spoon closer to Craig, which he accepted gratefully.

“Where’s Daisy?” Craig asked quietly amidst the quiet rumble of conversation that had resumed around him.

“Spending some quality time at his new house.” Dom answered, “It’s good to see you down for brekky.” He added with a smile as he reached across to wipe a smear of jam from Daisy May’s face.

“You need some sun.” Liv stated watching Craig closely.

“I guess I do.” Craig looked at his bare arms. “I am a bit pale.”

“I’ve packed a picnic lunch, when that brother of mine is finished slave driving make sure he takes you somewhere nice so you can get some colour.”

“Not too nice.” Dom snickered, his hand sneaking under the table to rub gently across Billy’s thigh. “You won’t want to come home.”

“You two are quite sickening you know that?” Liv giggled as Billy leaned in to press a kiss against Dom’s neck.

“You’re hardly one to talk.” Dom replied as Viggo kissed Liv’s forehead with a loud wet smack.

“So Craig, what are your plans for the day?” Viggo asked.

“Not sure. I got an offer I apparently couldn’t refuse.” Craig answered around a mouthful of toast and egg.

“He’s going to help me today.” Sean responded.

“What is it that you do?” Dom asked.

“A lot of things. At the moment I’m cleaning and classifying some rocks I brought back from my last trip.”

“How can I help with that?” Craig frowned.

“Extra hands for polishing are always welcome.” Sean replied enigmatically. His own breakfast finished, he downed the last of his coffee and pushed his chair back.

“C’mon Soldier Boy.” He directed at Craig. “Daylight’s burning.”

Shoveling the last bite of egg into his mouth, Craig lifted his glass with both hands and swallowed from it gratefully.

“Looks like I’m going.’ He spoke into his chest.

“Was good seeing you here again Craig.” Viggo spoke. “Don’t be a stranger.”

Craig nodded, then grabbed his cane with gnarled fingers and hobbled outside.

While Craig had been making his slow unsteady exit from the room Sean had been busy moving his truck closer to the dining room door.

Waiting beside the passenger door, Sean watched Craig’s approach.

Wordlessly he helped Craig up into the passenger seat. Making sure he was secure Sean loped around to the drivers side and swung into the seat.

“Tomorrow we’ll take the automatic truck so that you can drive. You should be able to handle it without the clutch.” Sean spoke as he drove away from the main buildings in a crunch of gravel.

“Where the hell are we going?” Craig asked testily, the pain increasing in his thigh.

“My house.” Sean answered simply.

“Your house?” Craig questioned, gripping his thigh to confine the sharp knife points of pain as Sean hit a divot in the dirt road.

“technically, it’s a barn.” Sean shrugged wincing at the pain he could see Craig was suffering through, unable to conceal it.

Pulling the truck to the side of the rutted track, Sean braced his feet on the floor and moved to fish a white plastic bottle from his pocket.

Flicking the cap off, he palmed two pills and recapped the bottle. Extending his hand palm up to Craig he watched as the younger man shook his head. “Take them, you don’t have to be brave with me.”

“Don’t want to.” Clenched his teeth as the heel of his hand ground into the pain.

“Soldier Boy.” Sean unclipped his seat belt and slid across the seat. “You’re not doing either of us any favors suffering. Take them, be strong tomorrow, you’ve already done more than I expected today. You’ve done better than I did.”

“I hate what they do to me.” Craig gestured to the pills as he spoke from between gritted teeth.

“I know, me too, but one step at a time.” Sean pressed them into his hand.

Reaching out with long fingers he kneaded the damaged muscles gently, feeling the leg slowly relax under his fingers as the medication began to work.

“We good to go?” Sean asked quietly brushing the hair back from Craig’s face.

“Yeah.” Craig murmured, not opening his eyes. “Why do you bother with me?”

“Because you’re worth it.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You weren’t kidding were you?” Craig stated as he looked at the grey wooden structure that Sean called home.

“Told you. Barn.” Sean replied with a cheeky grin.

Sliding out of the truck, Sean ran around the front of the vehicle and opened Craig’s door, helping him down. When Craig reached for his cane, Sean pushed it out of reach. “Consider me your cane for the day.” Sean spoke softly as slipped his arm around Craig’s waist.

“What happened to the hard-assed bastard?” Craig lifted an eyebrow as he fitted himself along Sean’s side.

“Got you out of your room didn’t I?” Sean replied.

“Tricksy bastard.” Craig muttered and fell silent as he hobbled into the building, each step sending daggers of sharp pain radiating through his leg.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Sean asked.

“No.” Craig’s answer squeezed between his tightly clenched teeth.

“I’ll see what I can do inside.” Sean murmured. Slowly and methodically, one step at a time they made their way into the building.

Craig never noticed the polished floor or the stone fireplace or even the large comfortable bed that dominated what was once a tack room.

Sean helped him onto the bed and knelt in front of him, slipping Craig’s shoes from his feet before he lifted his hands and quickly and efficiently opened Craig’s jeans.

“What are you doing?” Craig asked, lifting his hips from the bed to help Sean remove his jeans.

“I’m helping you.” Sean answered, “And don’t flatter yourself. The pain you’re in it won’t work anyway.”

“Wasn’t mine I was worried about.” He moaned as Sean’s fingers started probing and massaging the tight knot of muscle in his thigh, his eyes closed in relief and he sank back against the bed.

“Trust me Soldier Boy. I’m not going to force you and it’s not going to happen today,” he paused, “but it is going to happen.” Sean watched Craig as he relaxed.

Standing he lifted Craig’s legs carefully onto the bed and turned him so that his head lay against the thick pillows.

“Just lay here for a moment.” Craig murmured, “But don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Sean chuckled “Just wanted you to be comfortable.

Sean kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed, carefully straddling Craig’s legs. His fingers worked Craig’s damaged thigh. Leaning over, he pulled a small tub of cream from the bedside drawer, slicking his fingers with the pungent goo before he resumed his massaging.

His hands caressed the angry scars tenderly, fingertips painting the thick cream into the darkest scars.  
Both hands worked Craig’s thigh, fingers spread wide, his hands framing the injured muscle as his thumbs and fingers circled gently into the knots and tension. Completely absorbed in his task Sean’s fingers moved deftly, the words of a English lullaby on his lips as he worked. The tips of his fingers brushed higher under the soft cotton leg of Craig’s boxer briefs, the backs of his knuckles rubbing against Craig with every upward stroke.

“For someone who isn’t getting lucky today you’re sure making all the right moves.” Craig’s husky voice spoke, his hands moving to rest his palms on Sean’s thighs.

“If I thought you were ready I would.” Sean replied without looking up. “Feel better?”  
“Much.” Craig replied, his voice dreamy, his palms gently caressing the firm denim covered muscles under his touch.

“Glad I could help.” Sean eased away from Craig and laid down beside him on the bed, his head supported by one large hand.

“You did…You do.” Craig opened his eyes to turn his head and look into Sean’s face.

“Told you, I’ve been there. That’s how this place got built.” Sean replied.

For the first time Craig looked around the room they were in. “You? You built this?” Craig exclaimed.

“Technically no. Barn was already here. I gutted it built myself a workshop and a bedroom.” Craig shrugged, his fingers reaching out to trace across the leg of Craig’s briefs.

“How is there so much I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“You know all you need to know.” Sean answered. “I’m here and I’m all yours.”

“All mine?” Craig raised one speculative eyebrow as he rolled onto his side.

“If you want me.” Sean shrugged, his voice gruff.

“You haven’t made me an offer I can’t refuse yet.” Craig stated flippantly.

“Maybe I’m scared you’ll say no.” Sean murmured his fingers tracing the bare flesh laid out before him.

“Maybe I wouldn’t refuse you.” Craig moved closer on the bed.

“Maybe I want to wait until you’re more yourself and I don’t feel like I’m taking advantage of you.” Sean murmured leaning closer until his breath was puffing against Craig’s lips.

“Maybe you should trust your instincts.” Craig spoke tilting his head so his lips brushed Sean’s with every word.

“Maybe you should stop being so damned tempting.” Sean whispered as he let his lips touch Craig’s.

Craig leaned forward, lifting one hand to clumsily cup the back of Sean’s neck pulling him closer.

“Maybe you should just take a hint occasionally.” Craig replied, “Kiss me you big chicken.”

“Chicken is it?” Sean asked, rolling Craig onto his back, he pressed their chests together. One hand cupped Craig’s head, holding him still as their lips met wetly. The other hand slipped higher, long fingers cupping the flesh that had been tantalizing touches during his massage.

“If the feather’s fit.” Craig moaned into Sean’s mouth, his hips pressing up into Sean’s touch.

“Cluck, Cluck.” Sean uttered against Craig’s skin. Kissing the younger man slowly, Sean let his free hand caress Craig gently.

“Don’t tease, Sean.” Craig whimpered, his hand pressing Sean’s tighter against him.

Rolling away from Craig, Sean released him to lay sprawled beside him on the bed. “We’re not doing this now.” Sean breathed, his chest heaving, his eyes closed one hand scrubbing across his face in frustration.

“I’m not good enough for you to fuck?” Craig sat up and looked at Sean, his eyes hard, his mouth set in a thin line.

“That’s not it at all.” Sean sighed. “I’m doing this badly. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But I’m not what you want, I’m too tall, too big, too….Fuck! I don’t know. Truth is I’m too used for you.”

“That’s a fucking lie and you know it.” Sean rolled onto his side and watched as Craig flopped down on the bed again.

“I’m practically begging you to fuck me, Sean, please, Sean I want you, I need this, I need you.” Craig turned his head, his ice blue eyes searching Sean’s face.

“When we do, Soldier Boy. I’m not going to hold back and neither are you. I’m going to give you everything you’re asking for and then some. You’re not ready for that.”

“Why can’t I decide what I’m ready for?” He grabbed Sean’s hand and pressed it against his arousal, pushing up into Sean’s forced touch.

“Because I don’t want you to hurt when we come together. I don’t want either of us to have to restrain what we’re feeling….experiencing because it’s hurting your leg.” Sean grinned at him as his fingers slowly ran across Craig’s arousal.

Craig relaxed back against the bed, “So it is because I’m a gimp.”

“You’re not a gimp, Soldier Boy.” Sean sighed, leaning over him his weight resting on one elbow. “You’re delectable and it’s all I can do to take this slow, but I want it to be as good for you as it is for me.”

“It will be….now.” Craig implored him pressing him up into Sean’s hand.

Sean drew a deep breath and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments before he moved his hand. Pressing the heel of his large hand against the most prominent twisting scars on Craig’s thigh, he pressed down until Craig flinched and cried out in renewed pain. The moment that Craig voiced his distress, Sean lifted the cruel pressure and pulled Craig into his arms.

“That’s why,” Sean whispered against his hair, rocking him gently. “When it happens there won’t be any memories of pain for you.”

“You happy now?” Craig growled against Sean’s chest, his chest still tight as he struggled to breath normally again without the burning blades of pain slicing at his leg.

“No. Why the hell wouldn’t you let it go, Soldier Boy. I didn’t want to hurt you.” Sean stated softly, his lips brushing against Craig’s hair.

“Would you?” Craig countered.

“No.” Sean nodded. “Point taken.” He paused, “Are we good?”


	7. Chapter 7

“You need to give it time, Craig,” Sean spoke as he stepped away from Craig. “You can’t expect to fix everything at once.”

“I need to do this, Sean,” Craig answered, drawing a deep steadying breath; he smiled brightly up at Sean. Seeing Sean’s worried face, he nodded in agreement. “I’m fine, Sean, go park the truck, I’ll wait right here.”

Lifting one hand to cup Craig's face gently, Sean took a moment to gauge the level of fear and swirling emotions in Craig's worried blue eyes. "I'll only be a couple of minutes. Are you sure you're okay here?" Sean queried, the nervous tension evident in his tone.

“Jesus, Sean, just go already,” Craig chuckled nervously, “You’re making me nervous.”

Pushing the truck door closed behind Craig, Sean laughed. “I’ll be right back.” He ran around the front of the truck and looked over the top of the cabin with a grin. “Don’t move, Soldier Boy.”

Craig saluted Sean, “Aye, Aye,” he laughed anxiously, “I’ll be right here. Stop fussing.”

Craig stepped back as Sean started the truck, executing a neat U-turn and driving back down the street. Craig watched as the tail lights disappeared from view, then turned towards the restaurant, surprised to find four men standing behind him watching him closely.

“Excuse me,” Craig murmured, leaning heavily on his cane as he attempted to step between them.

“Don’t think so,” The smallest of the men growled at him. “Work at the Double L, do we?”

“We don’t,” Craig clarified quickly, “I live there.”

“Family, then?” The dark haired man’s eyes narrowed. “You a Mortensen?”

“No. How did you know I’m from the Double L?” Craig frowned, glancing down the street looking for Sean, stepping back as the other man advanced.

“Let me introduce myself,” He smiled ferally, “My name is Serkis, I worked at the Double L a while back, until their Ramrod busted my wrist and had me run off.”

“Billy wouldn’t have done that without reason.” Craig replied, shuffling backwards into the short alley beside the restaurant, as the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. His eyes darted down the street in the direction Sean had gone.

Serkis advanced on Craig slowly, his friends following more slowly. “Billy is it?” Serkis sneered, “I’m guessing,” he jabbed a finger into Craig’s blue chambray covered chest, “If you’re not a Mortenson, that would make Boyd your family. Interesting…”

“So what?” Craig answered quickly, “Billy’s a good man, there must have been a reason,” he drew a deep breath, trying desperately not to panic. “I’d thank you to get out of my way.”

“I’d thank you to shut the fuck up.” Serkis growled, snapping quickly forward he snatched Craig’s cane out of his hands.

“Okay, you’ve made your point,” Craig soothed as he teetered on his good leg, struggling to appear stronger than he was, “We’re all assholes. I get that….”

Craig’s voice was cut off as Serkis swung the cane and it impacted against his thigh. The pain that flared instantly through his already injured limb destroyed the light of false bravado that had flared in Craig when he was cornered. Unable to contain the sharp cry of excruciating pain, Craig was transported back to the makeshift prison and the daily sessions of body breaking mind numbing torture. His mind closed down, preserving the little bit of sanity left to him, folding his body in on itself struggling to minimize the pain.

“Apparently you don’t.” Serkis continued, watching as Craig crumpled to the ground in front of him. “Oh look, Ramrod’s not here to save the gimp.”

“Serkis?” a voice sounded behind him. “Let him be, you’ve had your fun.”

“Shut up Johnson.” Serkis growled, bringing the cane down against Craig’s outstretched leg again.

“He’s a cripple, and obviously not right in the head, where’s the fun in this?” Johnson persevered.

“There’s no fun,” Serkis answered with a sneer, “But it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. His brother fucked with me, now I’m gonna fuck with him”

The cane impacted with Craig’s leg again, the sound of the blow resounding through the silence of the alley.

Looking at the other two men, Johnson nodded slowly, then spoke. “We’re out of here Serkis. Catch you later.”

“Fine.” Serkis circled Craig as he lay huddled on the filthy ground. Craig cowered there, his hands over his head, mumbling under his breath as he rocked back and forth, Serkis jabbing at him cruelly with the end of the cane as he walked . “Useless bastard won’t even fight back.”

“Get away from him!” Sean’s voice boomed from the mouth of the short alley. Sean stood at the mouth of the alley, out of breath from the short dash down the street as he had heard Craig’s anguished cry. Furious at himself for leaving Craig alone and vulnerable and a heartbeat from a murderous rage at the cruel cowhand, he struggled to calm himself enough to keep a slippery grasp on his control.

“Make me,” Serkis snarled, hitting Craig a final time, Sean flinching at the sickening thud of the rosewood cane against Craig’s flesh, before he turned his attention to Sean, slapping Craig’s cane against his palm.

“With pleasure.” Sean replied, slipping his arms out of his jacket and dropping it over a railing, he walked closer. Sean gave himself a minute to visually check Craig, before he turned his undivided attention back to Serkis, and rolled his sleeves up slowly. “You really don’t want to do this Serkis, trust me.”

“Oh I think I do.” Serkis growled, walking towards him, continually slapping the cane against his palm. “You’ll be much more satisfying than the gimp.”

“He’s not a gimp, you arrogant bastard. He’s a hero and he has more guts than you’ll ever have you spineless asshole.” Sean answered, trying desperately not to let his anger overwhelm his common sense, his fists clenching and unclenching.

“Really?” Serkis smiled, “He didn’t put up much of a fight, just fell down and started whimpering. You’re going to be much more fun.”

“Not so much.” Sean’s voice was cold and flat as he advanced on Serkis. Snatching the cane from his hand, Sean never took his eyes off of Serkis’ surprised face as he swung the cane, hitting it against the wall beside the arrogant bastard so hard it shattered in his hands, splinters of red wood flicking across his bare arm. Lashing out, he landed several sharp blows to Serkis’ face and torso before Serkis even had a chance to land a decent blow.

Breathing harshly, his temper barely leashed, Sean grabbed Serkis by the collar and pinned him to the dumpster against the wall.

“You don’t deserve to even be in the same airspace as him.” He snarled into Serkis’ bloodied face. “If I ever see you anywhere near him again, I’ll fucking kill you.” He pounded Serkis into the dumpster with every word. Both hands fisted into Serkis’ shirt, Sean took a deep breath desperately trying to restrain his instinct to kill the cruel miserable cowhand. He pulled him from against the dumpster and pushed him towards the mouth of the alley.

“Fuck off, you miserable piece of crap, before I forget that I’m a civilized person and give you what you deserve.” Sean pushed Serkis so hard that he landed on his face on the asphalt.

Serkis forgotten, Sean turned his attention back to Craig, moving quickly to kneel at his side.

Craig rocked back and forth, his arms wrapped tightly around his updrawn leg, murmuring quietly in a language Sean couldn’t quite decipher.

“Craig?” Sean whispered, reaching out to touch Craig’s trembling shoulder gently.

Craig shied away from Sean’s touch as if he had been burned. Glistening blue eyes, looked up at Sean but never really saw him. All he saw was Sean’s dark shadow leaning over him, his mind obviously trapped in a horror from his past. “Please. Please don’t let them put me back there. I can’t go back there. I can’t survive it again.” Craig begged brokenly.

Sean drew back, startled by Craig’s plea, unsure of exactly what he should do to help him. Mentally berating himself for leaving Craig alone, he knelt at his side, his large hand reaching out to touch Craig’s back.

The younger man flinched as Sean’s hand touched him, but began to relax after a few seconds, Sean let his hand rub small soothing circles against Craig’s tense back. Feeling the muscles under his hands slowly beginning to relax under his touch, Sean moved closer, until finally he sat behind him and pulled Craig back against his chest. Shuffling his own hips forward until Craig sat in the space between his outstretched legs, Sean gave Craig time to adjust to his touch. As the minutes ticked slowly by Craig slowly relaxed against Sean becoming aware of his surroundings again. Leaning forward, Sean rested his head on Craig’s shoulder, his arms closing around Craig, holding him in a tight embrace.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sean asked quietly, his voice a warm whisper against Craig’s ear.

“No.” Craig’s spat his answer on a harshly drawn, trembling breath.

“It might help.” Sean murmured, his long fingers stroking Craig’s forearm soothingly.

“No.” his voice softened as Craig sank back into Sean’s embrace. “I just want to forget it.”

“You know when you want to talk about it I’m here.” Sean assured him, his soothing caresses moving across Craig’s chest.

“don’t want to talk about it. Can’t. It’s done.” Craig replied, finally completely relaxing against Sean. “Is he gone?”

Sean had seen Serkis pick himself up and skulk off into the night but had been more concerned about putting Craig back together. “He’s gone.” Sean confirmed.

“I feel like such an asshole.” Craig sighed, turning his head to speak against Sean’s neck. His face flushed with embarrassment, he burrowed into Sean’s skin.

“Why?” Sean turned his head and nudged Craig’s face up to look into his eyes as he spoke. “He’s the asshole not you. Billy let him go for beating a horse, he’s not worth worrying about. We need to worry about you, not him.”

“I’ve spoiled your night.” Craig answered, “I’m supposed to be over this.”

“So, you’re not the emotional hardass you think you are.” Sean shrugged, “Nobody expects you to cope with everything.”

“We were supposed to have dinner, I’ve fucked it all up.”.

“Am I with you?” Sean asked quickly.

“Yes, but we should be having dinner, he was right. If I wasn’t such a gimp I wouldn’t have been there. I wouldn’t have fallen to pieces like a teenage girl. I wouldn’t have you sitting in an alley in filth while I pull myself together.”

“And I’ll ask again,” Sean smiled at him, “And no elaboration this time. Am I with you?”

“Yes.” Craig answered warily.

“Then nothing has been spoiled. I set out to have an evening away from the Double L with you and we’ve achieved that.” Sean explained, “I think we should change our plans and maybe get some drive thru on the way back to the ranch, but aside from that, my night still has lots of possibilities.”

“Possibilities?” Craig murmured, quirking one eyebrow as he turned his head to look closely at Sean’s smiling face.

“Yours does too, if you play your cards right,” Sean laughed, letting his hand trail over Craig’s outstretched thigh, wincing as Craig flinched. “Hurt?”

“It’ll be okay.” Craig shrugged, letting his own hands trail across Sean’s thighs. “Can we go home now?”

“Depends, do I need to take you to the emergency room?” Sean slid his hand across the denim covered thigh. “Did he break anything?”

“Don’t think so.” Craig inhaled in sharp pain as Sean’s fingers probed at his leg.

“Hand’s okay?” Sean asked as his own fingers lifted his left hand and caressed each finger slowly then moved on to the other hand.

“Didn’t touch them, I was too busy cowering under them.” Craig mumbled derisively.

“You didn’t know what he was going to do. You couldn’t know and you already hurt enough. You did the only thing you could. You protected yourself from a self absorbed, twisted asshole who wouldn’t front up to the person he wanted to punish so he went after someone who he thought he could take.” Sean explained tightening his grip on Craig’s hand.

“Before this I could have taken him. I could have. I’m not the man I’ve become Sean. I don’t need a white knight or a defender.” He stated emphatically.

“Didn’t say you did, lad.” Sean placated him. “But just until you’re back to top form, couldn’t I be your white knight?”


	8. Chapter 8

Watching his would be lover trembling in an agonizing mix of fear and pain would be forever etched in Sean’s mind. Even now as he reached out to close his hand over Craig’s, Craig flinched at the unexpected touch.

“It’s alright soldier boy, We’re almost there.” He crooned as if speaking to a wounded animal.

“’m sorry,” Craig apologized. “I’ve fucked up your plans.”

“Stop it.” Sean stated flatly. “Nothing was fucked up at all. Plans change all the time. It doesn’t mean they’re fucked.”

“Such a fuck up.” Craig murmured, turning his head to look back out the window at the passing lights.

Realizing that Craig was neither in the right mood or headspace to belabor the point Sean returned his attention to driving, casting surreptitious glances at his passenger.

A few minutes later, he pulled the pickup into the driveway of a small rustic cabin. A shiny white truck already sat in the driveway, the cabin illuminated as an elderly man sat reading a thick novel.

“What are we doing?” Craig asked warily.

“This is where we are spending the night.” Sean replied calmly. “I called a friend of mine to come and check you out, make sure Serkis didn’t do too much damage.” He lifted a hand to brush against the bruise forming on Craig’s forehead.

“Don’t need anything. Just want to go home.” Craig pulled away from his touch.

“No you don’t.” Sean explained slowly. “I’m not going to let you go back into hiding and I’ll never let anything happen to you again.

“You can’t.” Craig shook his head.

“I can and I will.” Sean opened his door and moved quickly to Craig’s door. “Ian is just going to check you out. You took a fair beating, Soldier Boy. I need to know you’re okay.”

“’m fine.” Craig muttered, his face flushing with embarrassment.

“Forgive me for not believing you, Macho man.” Sean put his hand on Craig’s thigh wincing as he flinched in pain. “That’s not fine, Soldier Boy.”

“It’s okay.” Craig mumbled.

“C’mon, c’mere.” Sean opened his arms and slid one behind Craig’s knees.

“I can walk.” Craig remonstrated.

“Ah huh, I know.” Sean nodded with a grin. “humour me okay?”

Craig acquiesced without further argument. As Sean slid him into his arms, Craig let his head tilt forward to rest against Sean’s shoulder, his arm sliding around Sean’s neck.

The older man in the other vehicle had alighted from his vehicle when Sean had parked and had watched their exchange as he leaned against his fender. As Sean swung Craig out of the truck he lifted the small bag that rested on the hood behind him then moved up the handful of steps and swung the door open, holding it open as Sean carried Craig inside and deposited him on the king sized bed that dominated the cozy cabin.

“Hello, m’boy.” Ian placed the small case he had been carrying on the bed beside Craig’s outstretched legs.

“Name’s Ian Mckellen, but just Ian works well for me, Craig.” He shooed Sean away as he began to check Craig’s condition. For his part Craig laid there silently, his face turned away from Ian.

Sean went quickly out to the pick up and carried their bags inside then hovered in the corner of the room like a watchful mother hen, watching as Ian spoke in soothing tones, applying salves and care to Craig’s battered body.

Ian undressed his patient and by the time he had concluded his ministrations, Craig was carefully ensconced under the feather comforter, his eyes closed in what Sean hoped was peaceful slumber.

Ian gestured silently for Sean to follow him out into the night.

“He’s okay?” Sean asked quickly, as the door closed behind him.

“As right as he can be given the circumstances, m’boy.” Ian nodded.

“Thank God.” Sean breathed in relief.

“How long has he been like this.”

“He was a POW when his brothers rescued him almost a year ago.”

“And he’s been withdrawn like this since then?” Ian asked.

“No, usually he’s an argumentative pain in my ass. This is something new to me tonight.”

“I’d like to see him on continuing basis.” Ian mused

“Good luck with that, after tonight getting him off the double L isn’t going to happen.”

“I’ll come to him.” Ian responded smoothly.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sean questioned concerned.

“How many people died when he survived.” Ian asked, watching Sean closely.

“At least one that I know of why?” Sean frowned.

“Just curious.” Ian climbed into his truck. “I’ll call to arrange a visit.”

“Thanks Ian.” Sean inclined his head in thanks.

“Not a problem.” Ian replied as he started the truck, “Toodlepip.” He waved out the window as he drove away.

Sean watched the car drive off the property and turn onto the highway before he moved back into the cabin. Moving quietly around the cabin, Sean lit the fire that was already laid in the fireplace, sitting on the rustic sofa, silently watching Craig. When the fire had burned down a little, Sean undressed down to his boxer briefs and slid noiselessly onto the bed beside Craig.

“Happy now?” Craig asked quietly as Sean settled on his side beside him.

“No.” Sean answered with a shrug. “But at least now I know that you’ll survive.”

“Whatever.” Craig whispered into his pillow.

Sean moved closer on the bed to Craig, looping one arm around Craig’s waist, their bodies mere inches apart. Craig stiffened as he felt Sean’s arm.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were awake?” Sean murmured.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Craig answered quickly.

“Then we won’t.” Sean replied. “Can I hold you?”

“If you want to.” Craig relaxed against him.

“More than anything.” Sean whispered sliding closer on the bed until their bodies were pressed together, his hand pressed against Craig’s chest, feeling his heart racing under his fingers.

“Talk to me?” Craig spoke softly.

“What about?” Sean breathed, his lips brushing against Craig’s shoulder as he spoke.

“Anything.” Craig smiled slowly as he pressed his hand over Sean’s on his chest. “Like your accent, voice might help me sleep.”

“Don’t sleep much do you?” Sean laid back against the pillows and gently tugged Craig until he his head rested in the curve of Sean’s shoulder, one strong arm curled around his back, the other gently stroking up and down his arm.

“Not a lot.” Craig sighed.

“Pain or thinking?” Sean queried.

“Both.” Craig shrugged, the muscles in his arms tensing.

“Sorry.” Sean sighed. “I’m not sure what you want to hear about but I’ll tell you about what I want to do when I give up Geology. I was going to show you yesterday, but we got sidetracked. I make jewellery and when you’re feeling better I’ll take you out looking for my mine. I’ve got myself a treasure map.”

“treasure map?” Craig murmured sleepily, his fingertips unconsciously stroking Sean’s arm.

“Yeah, been a rumor in Viggo’s family forever, I won the map off of him in a poker game. Just haven’t had the inspiration to find it.” Sean tilted his head forward to press a soft kiss to the top of Craig’s head. “Maybe when you’re feeling up to it we could go on a treasure hunt.”

“ ‘d like that.” Craig mumbled his eyes closing.

“So would I, Soldier Boy, so would I.” Sean whispered, tightening his hold on the younger man.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sean was pulled from sound sleep by the struggling body beside him. Shaking his head, he glanced around the room in confusion as he tried to find the source of his companion’s consternation.

The fire had burnt down to a glowing bed of red and grey embers and the beginnings of sunrise were pinkening the edges of the picture window. His arms had tightened automatically around the warm writhing body in his arms.

“Craig?” Sean tightened his hold, pulling him tighter against his body, “C’mon lad, it’s just a nightmare.”

“No.” Craig shook his head. His perspiration damp forehead rubbed against Sean’s muscular chest. “So real.”

“It was just a dream. I’ve got you.” He stroked Craig’s back soothingly, feeling the tense muscles trembling under his fingertips. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Craig shook his head against Sean’s chest. “Just hold me.” He murmured his eyes already closing again.

Sean smiled as Craig snuggled in tightly against him, burrowing into the safety of Sean’s strong arms. He lay awake until he was sure that Craig was still asleep, finally allowing himself to drift off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next time Sean awoke the room was bathed in sunlight. Maintaining his hold on Craig he picked his cell phone off the bedside table to check the time, only to find a string of missed calls and text messages. Looking down at the young man in his arms he pressed a soft kiss against the back of his head. Carefully sliding his arm out from underneath Craig, he lingered for several moments watching the muscles of Craig’s back rippling as he moved into a comfortable position before stilling again.

Slipping off the bed, Sean stepped into his jeans. Grabbing the cell phone from where he had dropped it on top of the coverlet, he walked out of the cabin, closing the door behind him, he flipped open his phone and dialed a number.

“Seanie, where the hell are you?” Liv asked without preamble.

“At the Jackson cabin, since when do I need to check in?” he grinned into the phone. “Unless of course you made seventeen calls because you were concerned for my welfare.”

“Daisy is after your blood, of course I’m concerned about you.” Liv muttered into the phone

“I’m supposed to be scared of him?” Sean asked.

“I would be. He’s very protective of Craig.”

“He knows I won’t hurt him.”

“Does he?” Liv questioned.

“Not you too?” Sean ran his fingers through his hair warily.

“You don’t exactly have a good track record Sean.” She replied honestly.

“I will not hurt him Liv. He means…” Sean paused trying to formulate what he wanted to say. “He means a lot to me.”

“God.” Livs tinkling laughter washed over him. “Men are so damned stubborn.”

“I don’t think I want to know.” Sean almost laughed at the frustration in Liv’s voice.”

“Just watch your six, okay?”

“Absolutely….and Craig’s too.”

“Pervert….” She giggled and disconnected.

Sean walked back into the room to find Craig struggling to pull his jeans on.

“What’s wrong?” Sean moved to his side and knelt there assisting him to pull the stiff grime stained denim up his legs.

“I need you to take me home.” Craig stated simply through clenched teeth, “This isn’t going to work just leave me alone.”

“And if I were to say no?” Sean rose and stepped away from Craig, giving him space to pull himself to his feet.

Craig shrugged as he hobbled toward the end of the bed, his reliance on the bed to keep him upright, obvious. As Sean moved to help Craig, he threw both hands up in a warning gesture nearly toppling himself in the process.

“Fuck off Sean.” Craig growled “I mean it.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sean drove almost silently back to the Double L. It had almost broken his life hardened heart to watch Craig struggle to the truck. He had followed behind Craig, and after the first half dozen offers of assistance were rebuked he had stayed close enough to help if he was needed. By the time Craig reached the side of the truck, large beads of perspiration dotted his face, his skin white and pasty, his teeth gnawing on his nip so tightly that Sean could see a smear of blood where they had pierced his lip.

Fingers itching to reach out and smooth the hair back from Craig’s forehead, Sean waited breathlessly until he was sure Craig was settled in the front seat of the pick up. Quickly returning to the cabin and pulling a shirt over his head Sean grabbed their belongings. Throwing their things in the back of the pick up, Sean had climbed into the truck and started the drive home. Surreptitious glances showed him just how much his show of independence had cost the younger man, his legs trembled visibly, the fingers of both hands pressed into his thigh struggling to press through the pain that ate at him. His eyes closed briefly, his own teeth piercing his lip as he fought not to reach out for his lover. A frown creased his forehead as he pondered the realization that his head already thought of Craig as his lover even though they had only shared kisses.

Releasing his white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, Sean had pulled Craig’s pills from his pocket. Holding the bottle in his palm he extended them until they were inside Craig’s glassy eyed line of vision. One quaking hand lifted to snatch the bottle greedily from Sean’s hand.

Sharp emotion collected in Sean’s eyes as he watched Craig struggling to open the bottle. The lid flicked onto the floor, small blue pills scattering from the shaking bottle as Craig tipped them into his palm. Lifting his hand to his mouth he swallowed them dry, desperate for the relief they promised. Dropping the small amber bottle to the seat forgotten, pills scattered across the leather heedlessly as his hands gripped his thigh tightly, his head tilting to lean against the cold glass waiting for the cessation of his suffering. His eyes fell closed as the pain dulled his sense enough for him to slip from consciousness.

Parking the truck in front of the bunkhouse, Sean was unprepared for the flurry of activity that seemed to surround them out of nowhere.

As he released Craig’s seat belt then moved to unfasten his own, his door was flung open and strong hands reached in, surprising him as he was grabbed by the collar of his tee shirt and dragged bodily from the car.

His hands closing into tight fists, ready to defend himself, Sean looked up into angry ice blue eyes.

“Where the fuck have you been you asshole.” David growled, pinning Sean against the side of the truck.

“Out.” Sean answered quickly. “He’s a big boy David, we didn’t do anything he didn’t want and even so, I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

“He’s my brother you prick. I know you, remember. You will not hurt him. I won’t let you. Leave him be.” Daisy growled.

“David I’m not in the mood for this. Not now and not from you.”

Releasing his hold on Sean, David leaned into the open door of the truck, realizing that Craig had yet to move, a smile on his face for his baby brother.

“Hey Craig,” he spoke calmly, “Everything okay?” David’s eyes narrowed as he realized Craig was sleeping and bearing the large new bruise on his face.

Enraged by the marks, without hesitation David turned back to Sean and swung a tight fist at him.

“You like it rough do you?” he snarled at him. “Try it now with someone who’ll fight back, you gutless bastard.”

Sean’s head recoiled, hitting the truck as blood trickled from the corner of his lip. He lifted a hand to brush at the blood as he stood straighter. “I won’t fight with you David.”

“Then I’ll beat the crap out of you.” David growled at him.

Orlando spoke quietly from the back of the truck.

“Daisy, he doesn’t deserve that.” He murmured.

“Like fuck he doesn’t.” David glanced at his lover and then back to Sean. “He’s hurting my baby brother. He’s going to use him and throw him away and hurt him. I won’t let him do that.”

“You don’t know that Daisy.” Billy’s voice replied as he walked up to the bunkhouse from his home, closely followed by the ranch hand that had run down to fetch him.

“I do. Look at him. He already hurts him. I don’t trust him. Craig doesn’t need him.” David grimaced, punctuating his words with sharp jabs to Sean’s chest.

“How do you know that.?” Billy asked, stepping between David and Sean and pushing his brother away from him.

“I know his type. He doesn’t care, he only wants a convenient fuck. Craig won’t stand up for himself. He never does. Do _you_ want to pick up the pieces again?”

“It looks to me like Sean’s doing a pretty good job of picking up the pieces himself. Why don’t you give him a chance?” Billy’s palms were pressed flat against David’s chest as he pushed him further away from Sean trying to reason with him.

“How can you know that? David threw up his arms in frustration and turned and walked away from Billy.

“Because I’ve watched them, Daisy. He looks at Craig the same way you look at Orlando.” Billy replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. “Are you going to deliberately hurt Orli?”

“Are you fucking insane?” David ground out. “I…. why would I hurt him?”

“My point exactly.” Billy answered.

“I’m not going to hurt him.” Sean spoke quietly.

Billy and David turned towards Sean’s voice. While Billy had been convincing David of Sean’s intentions, Sean had lifted Craig from the truck. He stood at the front of the truck, Craig cradled in his arms.

“Put him down.” David snarled at him.

“Here?” Sean murmured quietly. “I won’t hurt him David. No matter what you think of me.”

Sean turned his back on Billy and David and walked into Craig’s room in the bunkhouse. He listened to Billy and David arguing as he laid Craig on the bed and made sure he was comfortable. One large calloused hand gently touched the unconscious man’s face, smoothing the frown lines that creased his forehead even as his drugs made him sleep through the worst of his pain.

Straightening, Sean took a deep breath and walked from the room closing the door quietly behind him as he did. Walking straight up to David and Billy, Sean looked David in the eye as he spoke.

“Look David.” He started calmly, “I don’t have to explain myself to you. He’s an adult. I know you don’t like me. I know you’d like to beat the crap out of me for touching him. But you know what? That’s too fucking bad. I’m good for him and I won’t leave him until he tells me too. So either you shut the fuck up or one on one right here right now.” His fists clenched and unclenched as he spoke.

Billy watched David’s nostrils flaring, his anger growing as Sean’s words penetrated the fury that shrouded him. He pressed a hand to David’s chest and forced him backwards away from Sean.

“There will be no fighting. Not here and not now.” He spoke his voice authoritative and cold. “Nature Boy?” he called over his shoulder without taking his eyes from his brothers face. “Think you can cool him down?”

“or warm him up.” Orlando muttered under his breath with a smirk before he answered. “I’ll do my best.”

“David?” Billy spoke to his brother calmly. “Back down, now!”

“No!” David growled, never once breaking eye contact with Sean.

“This isn’t the time or the place for this.” Billy tried to keep his annoyance at his brother in check.

“You saw him. Who knows what the fuck he’s done to Craig. He’s not going to get away with it.” David’s hand pushed away Billy’s on his chest.

“Did you bother to ask him what happened?” Billy asked, turning to fully face David, pressing both hands to his chest and pushing him backwards.

“Don’t have to. Craig has obviously been smacked around and he was with him, _he’s_ not got a mark on him, obviously it’s **him**.” David growled.

“Obviously.” Sean spat, his fists clenched, his anger burning brightly.

“Stop being such an asshole, David.” Orlando moved quickly to David’s side, pressing one hand over one of David’s large fists as it was pressed against his hip.

David surged forward, his chest heaving as he breathed angrily, “he’s the one that’ll break him.”

“And maybe he won’t.” Billy tried to sooth him.

“He won’t get the chance.” David growled. Struggling against Billy’s interference, he flicked Orlando aside, not noticing as he stumbled off balance and fell to the ground, before pushing Billy back with both hands.

“What’s your problem, Daisy?” Sean mocked David’s nickname as he spoke, “Do I remind you of you?” He gestured to where Orlando was picking himself up from the dirt. “Because you obviously treat your lovers well.”

Dragging in a deep breath, Daisy struggled with his anger. Glancing at Orlando, his eyes softened, but he didn’t reach for him. “Craig’s broken enough. I won’t let you finish the job.”

Orlando looked into David’s eyes and spoke softly, “He might be the only one that can fix him, David.”

“Your boyfriend has a point. And apparently more of a brain than you. You should listen to him.” Sean prodded him.

“Shut the fuck up.” David snarled, his anger now more of a simmer than a boil. He unfolded one white knuckled fist to extend a hand to Orlando.

Billy looked between the three men and made his decision.

“You got this now, Nature Boy?” he asked quietly.

Waiting for Orlando’s nod before he turned his attention to Sean, Billy spoke “Go. Look after him for us Sean.” As Sean turned away from them Billy grabbed his wrist and held him in place with an iron grip. “Be warned, if you hurt him David will be the least of your problems.”

“Already knew that.” Sean replied, shrugging out of Billy’s grip, he turned his back on both men and walked back into Craig’s room closing the door behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

Billy stood watching as the door closed behind Sean, his chest heaving as he struggled to calm himself. All it took was a steely green glare around the few ranch hands that were brave enough to stop and watch the spectacle for their audience to remember they had other things to be doing.

He glanced at his brother one final time before he turned and made his way back to his own home.

Orlando waited until the small crowd had thinned and Billy was walking away before he moved in front of his angry lover.

Frustrated by David’s sudden silence, he sighed deeply. Pushing one hand through his silken curls, he looked up into David’s face.

“Are you okay?” he murmured, ducking his head to put himself into David’s ice cold gaze.

“What?” David frowned, looking down, one trembling hand moving to cup Orlando’s head, his fingers caressing his scalp as if searching for something.

“Are you even in there?” Orlando asked quietly, unable to stop his head nuzzling into David’s palm.

“I’m sorry.” David murmured, his breath hitching emotionally.

“What for?” Orlando frowned, his own temper suddenly starting to simmer. He shook his head and lifted his hand to lace his fingers through David’s, “We need to talk.” He pulled David, his fight suddenly gone, meekly after him.

He dragged his lover up the stairs to his rooms in the bunkhouse. “David.” Orlando pulled the larger man after him and into his rooms. “Talk to me, what the hell was that about?”

“It doesn’t matter.” David shook his head, his hand cupping Orlando’s head and stroking gently. “Did I hurt you?” he frowned.

Orlando frowned, lifting both hands he turned David’s face until he could look into his eyes.

“David, I’ve been knocked on my ass before and I will be again. I’m fine.” He paused, “What’s got you so het up you want to fight him?”

David looked into Orlando’s eyes for long minutes before he broke away and stalked across the room to gaze out the picture window, his hands jammed deep in his pockets.

“Talk to me, please?” Orlando implored, he walked slowly across the room, watching David’s reflection in the glass.

“He’s going to hurt my baby brother. I can’t let him do that.” David mumbled into his beard.

“so you keep saying.” Orlando replied, taking one step closer. “Darlin? I trust you with my body and my life but I sure as hell don’t trust you not to knock your brother’s boyfriend on his ass the next time you see him. If I’m going to back you up, you need to tell me how you know that David.”

Orlando watched the frustration in David’s movements as he dragged one hand through his already ruffled hair. “Please?” he murmured.

“I just know he will, okay?” David growled.

“How?” Orlando persisted.

“Dammit, Orlando.” David cursed. “Because Craig looks at him the same way you look at me.” He exhaled sharply and pressed his forehead against the glass, his secret knowledge revealed.

“Oh, David.” Orlando sighed, immediately stepping forward and wrapping his arms around David’s waist. He pressed his body against David hugging him tightly. “You great big adorable lunkhead.” He whispered against the back of his neck, “You’re only seeing half the story.”

“What?” David asked, his hand dropping to cover Orlando’s on his chest, his fingers caressing Orlando’s gently.

“Have you seen how Sean looks at him?” Orlando murmured, pressing kisses against David’s nape.

“Like he wants to eat him alive.” David responded.

“That’s part of it.” Orlando nodded his teeth nipping at David’s neck gently. “You silly git.” Orlando murmured. “Sean looks at Craig the same way you look at me.”

David turned in Orlando’s embrace pulling him tightly against his body and looked into his face. “I almost killed you, fairytale boy.”

“See, now the way I see it? You saved me.”

“Semantics.” David stated flatly.

“Doesn’t matter.” Orlando shook his head, his curls fluffing around his face as he did. “Why do you want to take ‘this’” he gestured between the two of them. “away from your brother.”

“You’ve seen him.” David murmured, pulling Orlando against him and hugging him tightly. “Craig doesn’t have that sort of fight left in him.”

“Don’t you dare discount the power of love, David.” Orlando pulled away from his lover, his voice stern “Maybe it will give him the fight that he needs.”

“Sean doesn’t love him. Sean’s a drifter he runs when he hears the word commitment.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.” Orlando replied. “And he changed.”

“Lightning doesn’t strike twice, Orlando.”

Orlando pulled out of David’s arms and walked away from him.

“So because you think you hurt me, you’re willing to take Craig’s future from him before he even makes his own decision.”

“I can’t lose him, Orli.” David stated bluntly.

“For fuck’s sake, David.” Orlando swore harshly. “You’re nothing if not a stubborn bastard. Can’t you see that Sean is fixing him.

“How? He looks like he’s had the crap beaten out of him.”

“Did you even bother to ask?” Orlando asked, “No. I don’t think you did. You went charging in, Judge and jury all rolled into one.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” David countered.

“Maybe Sean had no choice. My point is you don’t know.” Orlando spun on him, his chocolate eyes molten with anger and passion, his finger jabbing David’s chest as he pressed his point. “If Billy had tried to stop you from courting me would you have listened?”

“Courting?” the corner of David’s lip twisted into the beginnings of a grin.

“You know what I fucking mean.” Orlando replied quickly.

“Yeah.” David admitted quietly, “and no I wouldn’t have.” He shrugged non-committally. “It probably would have made me more determined.”

“then why do you expect him to?” Orlando exclaimed, exasperated with his lover.

“Because Craig isn’t well enough to fight him.” David answered, as if that was a perfectly legitimate excuse.

“That’s lame, David.” Orlando growled, “Would you have stopped Billy courting Dom? By all reports Dom was barely a functioning human when he arrived here and look at what love did for him. Damnit look at what it’s done for you.”

“I wasn’t sick or hurting.” David jutted his chin out in defiance of Orlando’s words.

“Well I sure as hell wasn’t the one that needed fixing.” Orlando huffed.

“What are you trying to say?” David pulled himself up to his full height, his anger beginning to bubble anew.

“I’m not trying to say anything.” Orlando bristled at David’s tone. “I thought I was relatively clear.”

“Then lets get something straight shall we?” David growled. “I didn’t need anyone to fix me.”

Orlando looked at him for long moments, before he turned on his heel and walked quickly from the room slamming the door behind him.

David watched, horrified at his own temper and words, “Fuck.” He exclaimed driving his fist into the wall beside him as the door slammed.


	11. Chapter 11

Orlando stalked angrily away from David’s room. There were many times in their relationship that David’s stubborn mulish temper had frustrated Orlando, but this time, this time, he needed to walk away or they would both say something that they didn’t mean and would regret. It wasn’t that he didn’t love David with every fibre of his being, he did, and then some. Just sometimes he really needed to distance himself from him, because occasionally his Daisy was just a little bit less than the tender loving man he cherished and resumed the hard ass warrior mask he wore for the world at large. When he did that, not even his lover could get inside to ease his pain. And Orlando desperately needed to sooth his savage beast.

Walking down the incline away from the bunk house, Orlando stopped in mid stride. He pressed his fisted hands to the top of his head, threw his head back and snarled his displeasure at the world in general to the sky. Dropping to sit on grassy slope, Orlando pulled his knees up and folded his arms across the top of them. He looked out past Dom and Billy’s home and the blacksmith barn over a field covered with soft blue and yellow wildflowers without even seeing them. His mind still trapped in the room with his lover and his seething temper.

“Unc Or,” the broken words were accompanied by tiny hands touching his forearms.

Looking up, Daisy-May’s inquisitive face watched him. “boo boo?” she asked, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip in concern.

“No boo boo, baby.” Orlando replied, one hand lifting to ruffle her hair as he looked past her to find his best friend.

“Sad?” she persisted, her tiny face pinched into a frown.

“A little.” He shrugged, feeling the weight of his own frustrated anger lifting from his shoulders.

“You okay?” Dom asked quietly, his arm filled with one baby, the other in a carrier on his back.

“Yes. No. I have no f….” he broke off before he could curse in front of tiny sponge like vocabularies. “I don’t know.” Orlando answered truthfully.

“Billy is down at the house. You two should talk.” Dom stated. “C’mon sugarplum.” He extended a hand to his daughter. “Uncle Or needs to go see Papa Billy.”

“PapaBilly mad.” Daisy-May nodded, glancing back towards her house, her tiny face creased in a grim frown of concern. “home daddy?” she tugged on his hand and turned back towards their home.

“No, Sugar, PapaBilly needs a time out.” Dom pulled her towards the main house. “you’re having ice cream with Milo.”

“Ice cream?” Daisy-May smiled happily. “Chocolate?” she bounced on the spot.

“Any flavour you want Sugarplum.” Dom grinned as he was led away by his eldest child, “Go talk to him.” He threw over his shoulder.

Listening to Daisy-May’s excited chattering as they walked towards the house, Orlando rested his forehead on his forearms and took several slow deep breaths before he pulled himself to his feet.

Hearing the kitchen door slam behind Dom and his tiny charges, Orlando strode purposefully down the hill to find his brother in law.

Knocking on the front door and receiving no answer, Orlando opened the door and moved cautiously inside.

“Billy?” he called. “Billy? Dom said I’d find you here.”

“Nature boy, you really don’t want to be around me at the moment.” Billy spoke as he stepped through the doorway from the next room, a can of beer in his hand.

“Funny I don’t much feel like being around your brother at the moment either.” Orlando shrugged.

“I’m apparently having a time out, I’m unfit for human companionship.” Billy grimaced.

“Must be genetic then.” Orlando smirked. “David is pretty much the same.”

“Don’t let him drive you away.” Billy looked into Orlando’s face seriously. “He needs you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Orlando shrugged, “Take a lot more than a pissing match to shift me from where I belong.”

“Then why are you here and not with him.” Billy watched him through narrowed eyes.

“Why is Dom up at the main house in the middle of an ice cream feast?” Orlando retorted.

“Touche.” The corners of Billy’s mouth turned up as he spoke.

“Why does he hate Sean so much?” Orlando asked quietly, following Billy back into the kitchen.

Billy extracted a can of beer from the fridge and tossed it to Orlando. He waited while Orlando opened the can and took a mouthful of the frothy liquid before he spoke again.

“I don’t rightly know. And he’d probably tell you before he’d tell me.” Billy spoke.

“He told me, but I need to know more, he’s drawn his bridges and circled his wagons and he won’t fucking let me in. I need to know why he’s ready to kill him so I can figure out how to help him.”

“Bean?” Billy frowned confused.

“No.” Orlando replied trying to answer calmly. “I don’t give a fuck about Bean. He’s Craig’s problem not mine. I haven’t had David whole for long, Billy, please help me keep him that way.”

“What do you want to know?” Billy answered pushing open the door to the back porch and walking through it.

“I don’t rightly know.” Orlando followed Billy onto the porch and sat down beside him on the swing. “All I know is, something inside his head is tearing him up and its all because of Sean. I know he sees himself in Bean but there’s got to be more to it than that.”

“He doesn’t want to lose his brother.” Billy shrugged.

“He’s not losing him. He’s not going anywhere.” Orlando frowned.

“You don’t understand, do you.” Billy sighed, “If Bean breaks Craig, we won’t get him back. He’ll pass into that shadow land inside his mind and Craig, our Craig will be gone forever. That terrifies me, so I can’t even begin to understand how David feels.”

“Why is he different to you?” Orlando frowned. “Craig is your brother too.”

“When I went away, Craig was all David had. He might try to be the big tough hard ass that frighten the crap out of most men, but you’ve seen him. You know that inside he’s just as soft and tenderhearted as a fucking medieval princess.”

Orlando laughed, spraying a mouthful of beer across the patio. “Jesus, Billy, he’d kill you if he ever heard that.”

“tell me it isn’t true.” Billy grinned. “He rescued a tiny baby from a certain death and claimed her as his own, not knowing where she really came from. He’s taken me on more than once just to show me what I needed to see. He’d walk hot coals for you. With Craig it’s even deeper.” Billy’s voice went quiet.

“Why?” Orlando asked.

“Because until Dominic and then you…love has never been kind to our family, it killed our mother. She and Craig are a lot alike. Daisy has been there to see it all. When I ran away, and I did, you know. I ran away and left them to fend for themselves, when I should have stayed. I should have been there for them or for Daisy at the very least.”

“Billy.” Orlando frowned, a little uncomfortable with Billy’s revelations. “what does this have to do with why he hates Sean?”

“I’m getting there. Don’t rush me.” Billy responded, he stood and began to pace the length of the patio as he sorted through his thoughts. “Since Craig was a wee one he’s fancied himself in love with anyone who showed him any sort of affection. Just like our mother.” Billy leaned against the railing in front of Orlando. “Since he’s been old enough, I guess, if he was a woman he would have been considered… well something of a slut.”

Billy inhaled slowly, remembering hearing of Craig’s relationships and his pain in the long nights after David had first joined Cate’s Unit. Craig hadn’t been the only one suffering, Billy had seen the haunted pain in David’s eyes as he had spoken of the heartbreak and even beatings that Craig had endured since he had been old enough to realize his sexuality could help him fill the hole in his happiness. Seeing the anguish his brothers had endured had only deepened his own desire to keep both men safe. Especially after he’d found his Dominic. He needed his brothers to find the same love that he had found. Something in the way Sean looked at Craig told him that Sean could well be Craig’s Dominic.

“We’re all our mother’s sons. It just affected us all in different ways. All three of us, we had great big holes…..wounds perhaps, inside us that nothing could fill. Dominic healed me. It wasn’t easy but he did. You’ve healed Daisy in ways that I didn’t think were even remotely possible, but you have, and I thank you for that.”

“It’s not easy but it’s worth the pain and the torment in so many ways.” Orlando spoke quietly, “You think Sean can heal Craig, don’t you.”

“I know he can.” Billy answered, sitting back on the swing. He leaned his head wearily against the back of the seat and closed his eyes. “He’s the only one that Craig will let help him. That’s got to count for something.”

“And if David scares him away?” Orlando turned his face to look at Billy.

Billy opened his eyes and looked at his brother in law. “Somehow I don’t think Bean scares easily. Do you?”

“No. But much more aggression, he may decide that Craig isn’t worth the fight.” Orlando surmised.

“Possibly. Think you can keep my brother’s objections under control for long enough to let Sean work his magic on our baby brother?”

“I’m sure I can come up with some diversionary tactics.” Orlando grinned slyly.

Billy chuckled. “You and Dom, you’re both the best things that ever fucking happened to us.”

He stood and extended a hand to Orlando, helping the younger man to his feet. “Don’t ever change, Nature Boy.”


	12. Chapter 12

Sean lay on the bed beside Craig, his head resting on one hand, watching him sleep. Every now and again, Craig would mumble something, his face furrowing into a tight frown. Sean would reach out with one trembling hand and smooth the deep grooves from his forehead, before pressing a thumb to his lips, all the while murmuring soft crooning words of nonsense to sooth him back to sleep.

When Craig rolled towards him in his sleep, Sean relaxed against the pillows and folded his arms around the smaller man. Fingertips tracing his hair back from his face and gently massaging his head as he slept, Craig’s breath wuffling across Sean’s neck lulled Sean into his own slumber.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Warm air blowing across his chest, his body achingly hard, Sean woke from dreams lurid enough to wake a dead man. He hadn’t even opened his eyes when he realized why his dreams had been quite so vivid, and his body so intensely aroused. In his sleep Craig had relaxed into him, his injured leg lay across Sean’s strong thighs, his head rested on the curve of Sean’s shoulder, his breath teasing the light dusting of hair across his nipples mercilessly. One long fingered hand lay on the skin beneath his navel, if Craig were to twitch one finger he’d find out just how he affected Sean.

A fine sheen of perspiration prickled his forehead as he started to slide out from under Craig’s embrace.

“Don’t go.” Craig slurred, his lips pressing wetly against Sean’s shoulder.

“I have to, Soldier Boy.” Sean’s voice was gravelly with the force of his arousal.

Craig tilted his head up to look into Sean’s face, his hand slipping lower until it covered Sean’s arousal.

“I can take care of that for you?” he whispered.

“Soldier boy, you don’t know what you’re asking.” Sean sighed, his hips pushing up into Craig’s touch.

“I’ve got a fair idea.” Craig replied, leaning forward to press an open mouthed kiss on Sean’s broad shoulder, his thumb brushing back and forth.

“No.” Sean shook his head, “Not now, not like this, not alone.” He babbled near incoherency. “No.”

“Yes.” Craig tilted his head to suckle softly on the stubbled skin under Sean’s chin. Fitting his body against Sean’s side, he pressed his hips against his side, “Besides, you’re not alone.”

“And we’re not doing this like this.” Sean drew in a deep breath, even as his free hand closed around Craig’s wrist, the fingers of his other hand stroked across Craig’s back.

“Why not?” Craig breathed, rocking his hips slowly against Sean’s side. “I want it. You obviously want it. Impressively so, I might add.” He murmured. “Please Sean, can’t we please have something that is not painful. Please.”

“Craig.” Sean sighed, “Please don’t make me choose between you and my own good sense.”

“Can’t you just suspend good sense, for me?” Craig pleaded, “When I’m with you like this I don’t hurt and I don’t remember, there’s just you and me and it’s all good.” He closed his fingers around Sean’s arousal and stroked slowly.

“Craig.” Sean breathed. “You could make a saint forget.”

“Don’t want a saint I want you.” Craig responded.

“and I won’t contribute to your pain.” Sean grimaced as his hips arched up into Craig’s touch. “Please, Craig.”

“You’re not going to hurt me.” Craig replied solemnly. “I know you won’t. Please Sean.”

Sean closed his fingers around Craig’s wrist and pulled his hand up to his lips, brushing a kiss across craig’s palm as he did.

“Then we do this my way.” Sean smiled, then closed his lips around the tip of one finger and sucked slowly.

“Your way?” Craig groaned.

“Yup.” Sean pushed him gently onto his back, trailing his fingertips across Craig’s chest. “My way or not at all.”

“And if I chose not at all?” Craig whimpered as Sean’s fingers closed around his arousal.

“You don’t want to do that do you?” Sean asked quietly as his hand slid gently along Craig’s length.

“God no.” Craig moaned, one hand caressing Sean’s shoulder, the other clenching in the sheet at his side.

“Didn’t think so.” Sean smiled, dipping his head he brushed his lips across Craig’s, his mouth lingering as his tongue traced his lush lower lip.

“How do you do this?” Craig panted, his fingers tangling in the hair at Sean’s nape.

“Do what, Soldier Boy?” Sean whispered, his lips trailing across Craig’s chin and throat, as the backs of his fingers brushed lightly across Craig’s arousal.

“Make me forget…” he breathed, a frown creasing his brow as he struggled to explain, “but make me feel so good.”

“I want you to feel better than good.” Sean spoke against Craig’s skin. Rising up he lifted Craig’s hand from where it tangled in the sheet beside him. His fingertips stroked smoothly across Craig’s scarred skin, gentle caresses straightening the twisted digits tenderly. Lifting Craig’s hand to his mouth he pressed an open mouthed kiss to his palm, then kissed the tip of each finger slowly, swirling his tongue around the tip before releasing his hand and leaning forward to kiss him tenderly on the lips again.

“Touch me, Sean.” Craig whimpered as Sean’s fingertips trailed down his torso, “For God’s sake, touch me.”

“Like this?” Sean asked, his fingers wrapping gently around Craig’s arousal. His hand closed tightly around Craig, stroking slowly from root to tip, his thumb brushing slowly across his tip with every stroke.

“Oh God, yes, please, yes.” Craig begged, his hips arching up into Sean’s touch, his heels pressed against the mattress.

Sean immediately removed his touch, his lover sagging to the mattress, whimpering his need.  
“Calm down, Soldier Boy, you’ll hurt your leg. Let me do the work.” He murmured, his mouth closing over one brown nipple and nipping gently.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Craig moaned. “relax?”

“I’m serious.” Sean’s fingertips traced up and down the inside of Craig’s uninjured thigh.

“Do I have to beg?” Craig groaned as Sean closed his hand around him again.

“Not this time, Soldier Boy.” Sean murmured, leaning in to kiss him wetly, his mouth open over Craig’s his tongue plunging into his mouth hungrily as his hand stroked Craig’s slick arousal tightly. “Not this time.”

Their tongues dueled and Craig’s hips jerked up into Sean’s touch, mewling whimpers and sultry growls the only conversation possible as Craig’s body raced towards the pleasure that Sean’s hand promised.

As his release pulsed over Sean’s fingers, Craig fell limply back against the mattress. Sean’s fingers caressed him until he softened in his hand, his own body rigid with his own arousal, his breath heaving in his chest as he struggled to control his own hunger.  
“Soldier Boy?” Sean spoke, his voice tight, “I need you to promise me something.”

“You expect me to think coherently after that?” Craig mumbled, his hand lifting lazily to stroke Sean’s hair, before slipping down his chest. “What about you?” he frowned, looking down Sean’s body to his obvious arousal.

“I’m fine.” Sean replied, his teeth clenched tightly as Craig’s fingers brushed against him. Grabbing Craig’s hand he kissed his palm gently. “I need you to promise me Craig.”

“What?” he asked sleepily.

“This hot and cold stuff has to stop. I need you to trust me, all the time, I want to help you. I can’t do that when you keep pushing me away. Let me in Soldier Boy. I need to help you. Please?”


	13. Chapter 13

The dust of an arid summer and a too dry winter lifted in billowing gusts as the sleek black helicopter landed in the flat expanse of the home yards. Faces peered from every vantage point, trying to decide if their mystery visitor was friend or foe. Ranch hands watched from both the barns that faced the landing aircraft, men pausing in their horse breaking duties to stare at the arrival. At the main house Viggo stood, legs akimbo arms crossed, Liv slightly behind him her babe cradled in her arms, Milo clinging staunchly to his daddy’s leg, his eyes wide with wonder.

As a statuesque blonde alighted from the helicopter, Billy arrived slightly breathlessly after the run from his house. David’s tousled red head appeared in the doorway of his rooms, jeans unbuttoned and hanging low on his slender hips, his fingers scratching at the hair on his chest as a wide yawn split his handsome features.

Upon seeing the new arrival David’s persona changed, he stood straighter, taller, immediately on the defense his interest changing from mild curiosity to alert concern. Narrowed blue eyes flickered away from their guest to meet the shrewd, knowing green gaze of his brother. Turning his gaze from the tableau in front of him, David accepted a wrinkled plaid shirt from his partner’s extended hand then set off down the stairs to join his sibling.

His long strides ate the distance between them hungrily, meeting his former employer stride for stride, needing to somehow present a united front to her.

“Cate.” He spoke and nodded curtly as he stopped beside Billy, his hands pressed to his hips.

“David, Billy.” She nodded, one pale hand pushing a lock of ice blond hair behind her ear. “How are you?”

“Fine.” Billy almost smiled at her. Almost.

“How are the kids?” Cate smiled despite herself. The pair of them coiled like semi-tamed animals, on the surface they were cordial, even friendly but neither of them wanted her there. She could understand that.

“They’re good.” Billy answered conversationally; he folded his arms loosely across his chest, inordinately amused by his brother’s irritation at Cate’s arrival.

“Can we just cut through the bullshit, Cate?” David growled.

Cate laughed, the tinkling tones jarring them before she pushed her hands into her jeans pockets.

“Straight to the point as usual. I see marriage hasn’t mellowed you, Daisy.” She responded.

“You have no idea.” Daisy ground out, watching her suspiciously.

“Have you got somewhere we can talk in private?” Cate glanced around them, taking note of the faces filled with curiosity around them.

Billy looked around them and into Viggo’s eyes as he leaned against the kitchen doorjamb. Viggo inclined his head to his ramrod before lifting his son into his arms and turned to usher his family into their home.

“We can use the dining room.” Billy answered quickly.

David glanced at his watch. “Then where are they going to eat?” he asked, “We can use my room.”

“”Fine.” Billy shrugged.

David waited long enough to see Billy agree then turned and stalked back to his room, Cate and Billy following in his wake. Swinging open his door, David’s face softened as he saw his Orlando, sitting curled up in their armchair, reading glasses perched on his nose as he worked on the laptop computer perched on his knees. Their adopted daughter played in a play pen on the carpet beside him.

Orlando looked up from his laptop, the smile that he held exclusively for David curling his lips, until he saw the others. Closing the computer Orlando placed it on the coffee table and stood, scooping his adoptive daughter into his arms as he did.

“I’ll leave you in privacy.” He murmured to David as he walked towards the door.

“Thank…” Cate started to reply softly before David interrupted.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He spoke to Cate but looking into Orlando’s face. “We have no secrets, anything you can say to me, you can say in front of my partner.”

“Daisy,” Orlando put his hand on David’s arm, “It’s alright, I should go and find Rory anyway.”

“No.” David leaned in closer, one hand cupping the back of Jenny’s head as she snuggled into Orlando’s shoulder. “Stay.” He asked. “For me.” He whispered.

“For you.” Orlando nodded leaning in he pressed his forehead against David’s before he pulled back.

“Your daughter is lovely.” Cate stated simply as she sat back on the end of the king size bed that dominated the room.

“Can we just cut through the bullshit, Cate?” David growled. “Why are you here?”

“David.” Billy admonished, “There’s no need to be rude.”

“Every time she turns up, one of us ends up hurting. Craig can’t take a visit from her. You know that as well as I do.”

“And I know that, but Cate has never done wrong by us, let her be, David.” Billy spoke firmly.

Orlando stepped forward and closed his long fingers around David’s tightly clenched fist, silently offering his support.

“You always were an impatient bastard, David.” Cate chuckled.

“I’m not much better, Catie.” Billy smiled at her, “So best ye tell us what you want. Because rest assured whatever you’re asking the answer is no.”

“Who says I’m asking anything, William?” she answered, “You never answered me. How is young Dominic and those lovely babes of yours.”

“Catie, I love ye like a sister, but I have my own limits. Why are you here?” he turned to face her.

“You’re as close to family as I’ve got and I know that I don’t see you much, and yes I know that’s my fault, but I’m a busy woman boys. The best part of my crew left me, I’ve got to break in the new boys.” She looked up into the expectant faces of the men in the room and sighed. “There’s two things. One good, one not so good.” She chuckled. “Though it probably depends on how you look at it.” She looked into Billy’s eyes. “How’s Craig?”

“Wondered when you’d get around to that?” David spat.

“David.” Orlando murmured, distracting his partner’s attention from the anger building inside him.

“He’ll survive.” Billy nodded. “What two things?”

“Darren’s wife died. Craig was named as her son’s guardian.”

“Craig is in no condition to care for Pietro.” David grimaced, “He can barely look after himself.”

“David!” Billy growled sharply.

“He’s still bad?” Cate looked to Billy for confirmation.

“He’s not right yet, but he’s getting there.” Billy responded smoothly.

“Fuck!” Cate spat and rolled lithely to her feet, stalking to the window to look out over the home yards.

“So I’m guessing part two was contingent on Craig being of sound body?” Billy asked caustically.

“You don’t know the half of it.” Cate pressed a long fingered hand to her forehead.

“We would if you’d stop baiting me and tell us.” David growled.

“Rasoul wasn’t the top dog in that particular operation. His big brother was.” Cate answered plainly.

“Oh fuck.” Billy sank onto the edge of the bed as if his legs wouldn’t hold him up.

“Jesus.” David breathed.

“What?” Orlando looked from one to the other, confused at their sudden nervous attitudes. “What?”

“How did Darren’s wife die, Cate?” David asked through clenched teeth, ignoring Orlando’s question.

“Tortured, raped and executed.” Cate responded flatly.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Orlando looked from one to the other, his hands gently soothing the baby in his arms as he struggled to understand what everyone else in the room apparently understood.

“It means that Rasoul’s family just sent a message.” David didn’t look away from Billy, who sat silently on the edge of the bed, his hands clenched into white knuckles on his thighs. “He’ll be looking for retribution from Craig for the loss of his brother.”

“Retribution?” Orlando frowned.

“Their kind works on the ‘an eye for an eye’ principal, Nature Boy.” Billy looked up and into Cate’s face.

“An eye for an eye?” Orlando mused, before he sank bonelessly onto the sofa behind him. “Oh, Fuck.” He stated breathlessly, clinging tightly to the fussing bundle in his arms.

“Depends on how long it takes them to find him.” Cate shrugged. “I haven’t heard any word of the contract yet, but there must be one. I’ve got my best locals on it.”


	14. Chapter 14

Once the initial shock had passed, the need to plan for any eventuality became glaringly apparent to all of them. Feeling completely out of his depth, Orlando volunteered, on his way to Billy’s home, paused briefly at the door to Craig’s rooms, alerting Sean that he was ‘required’ upstairs by David.

Minutes later, Sean’s meaty fist pounded on David’s door. His lips set in a thin line, he anticipated more of the disapproval and hostility that resulted from every interaction he shared with Craig’s brother.

He was momentarily taken aback when Billy swung the door open wide enough to reveal David pacing quietly behind him.

“Jesus, what have I done this time.” He breathed, his agitation evident as he straightened visibly preparing himself to take the both of them on.

“Are you boys not playing nice?” Cate asked, the smile evident in her voice as she sat in the corner of the room watching the tableau unfold before her.

“Who the fuck are you?” Sean asked shortly, barely glancing at her before he turned back to watch David carefully, wary of the redhead’s perpetual dislike.

“Watch your language in front of a lady.” David growled, his blue eyes narrowed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, itching for an excuse to use them.

Cate’s musical laughter eased the tension that hung over them like a thick, heavy curtain. All three men turned to look at her where she sat on David’s comfortable armchair, legs crossed.

“You boys have way too much testosterone. Tell me? Is it the hat or the belt buckle?” She laughed, “Obviously there’s not nearly enough women on this ranch.”

“Obviously.” Billy glanced from his brother to what was ostensibly his brother in law and nonchalantly positioned himself between them.

Cate hadn’t failed to notice Billy’s movement and took a moment to assess the new addition to the family. Her shrewd eyes took in his lean form, shaggy blonde hair and craggy good looks before turning her attention back to the reason for her visit.

“He can be trusted?” She asked, all the while her eyes fixed on Sean’s.

“Yes.” Billy responded.

“No.” David answered simultaneously.

Trusting Billy’s assessment, yet peculiarly interested in David’s open hostility toward the new man, Cate spoke.

“Glad we agree on that.” Cate smirked, and held out her hand to Sean. “Cate Blanchett. I’m probably the closest thing you’re going to get to a sister.”

“Sean Bean. Didn’t know I was in the market. I’ve already got one, but thanks anyway.” Sean answered drolly, he shook her hand firmly then stood, hands on hips watching her suspiciously. “Now, pardon me Cate.” His lips turned into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “But what the fuck do you want from me.”

“Something tells me you’ve found your way into this family, so what I have to say will affect you as much as them,” she gestured towards the two siblings. “That’s why David thought you should be here.” Cate looked into David’s face and challenged him to belie her words.

“Fucking hell!” David muttered under his breath shooting a sharp glance at his brother’s smirking face.

“What the hell would he want me here for?” Sean replied smoothly, gesturing with a wave of his hand to the shadow of a bruise on his jaw. “Unless it’s to beat the crap out of me.” He looked directly at David and smiled, “Or try.”

“Simmer down boys, you can piss on each other later. We’ve got bigger things to worry about than territory.” Cate responded. “It’s going to take all of us to keep Craig alive.”

“Best you tell me right now, Cate.” Sean spat her name as he stepped forward, his entire persona changing at the hint of danger to his lover.

Cate’s smile widened. “Ahh, it’s like that is it. I should have guessed.”

“Cate, stop playing with them.” Billy sighed, tiring of his former employer’s game.

“Spoilsport.” She smiled at Billy, then her face turning to concern, turned back to Sean. “There’s a contract on Craig’s life.”

“There’s a what?” Sean asked incredulously, and then turned to look accusingly at Billy and David. “You bastards knew about this?”

“Tread carefully, Beanie.” Billy advised him. “You’re only here because Craig is in no condition to look after himself.”

Sean ran shaking fingers through his shaggy hair and stalked across the room to the window, gazing sightlessly across the fields towards Billy’s home.

“Is there anything else?” Sean’s spoke without turning around, his voice sounded whumped.

“One more thing, but first I need to know something.” Cate responded calmly. “What are your intentions?”

“For fuck’s sake, what is it with you people?” Sean growled as he spun to face Cate. He stepped closer to David, never once taking his eyes from David’s face. “Since you all seem to want to know. Let’s just say it’s going to take more than you three and a contract to get me away from him. Happy now?”

“Then for all intents and purposes, you now have a five year old son.” Cate stated quietly.

“Excuse me, I have a what now?” Sean squawked. “You’re shitting me right? Who? Where? What the hell?” he babbled hopelessly.

“Five year old son, she said.” David drawled.

“I heard her.” Sean growled moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “How? When?”

“Five years ago, apparently.” Cate laughed, “And the usual way, I assure you.”

“But I thought….” Sean murmured, his large hand rubbing his face wearily.

“That Craig only does boys?” Cate asked. “He does indeed.”

“then….”

“Cate, I know you don’t get much amusement at the office any more, but can you please stop toying with him so we can sort this out?” Billy asked.

“His 2IC, his best friend, the man who died in his arms in a pit at the whim of a evil dictator, Pietro is his son. Last week Darren’s wife was killed, Craig is now his only kinfolk. So you my dear are a daddy by default.”

“What about the contract?” Sean shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Pietro will be arriving here tomorrow, hopefully I’ll be able to find the cause of the contract and you two can ride your white horses off into the sunset.”

“And if you can’t find them?” Sean asked.

“You don’t need to worry about that.” Billy confirmed. “David and I will do whatever we need to.”  
“No!” Sean stated emphatically.

“No?” David asked, his voice deceptively quiet, his fists clenching and unclenching as he spoke. “So we just do nothing?”

“I didn’t say that.” Sean spoke from between tightly clenched teeth. “I’ll keep him safe now.”

“He was my brother long before he became your latest fuck. You can piss off and let us do what we do.”

“And what’s that Daisy, circle the wagons and keep him closeted up here until you decree that its safe?” Sean growled, turning to face his nemesis. “I’m not going to let you kill him by default.”

“Do you two think you can put your dicks away long enough to keep Craig safe?” Cate stood, and for the first time her voice was raised angrily.

“I won’t be pushed aside. This is my fight too!” Sean growled.

“Like hell you will.” David snarled, moving until he was almost toe to toe with Sean. “You’ll do what we tell you.”

“And you’ll back down.” Billy grabbed his brother’s arm and pulled him forcibly back from what was rapidly escalating into a physical war. “Or you will do as I tell you. And you won’t like that at all.”

David’s eyes searched Sean’s face, his nostrils flaring as he struggled to control his temper, before he relented, effectively backing down by stalking across to the window. His expression softening as he caught sight of his partner and brother-in-law playing with their combined broods on the grass near Billy’s home.

“Can we get on with this now?” Sean asked quietly, unclenching his own fists and turning back to face Cate. “I need to get back to my Craig.”


	15. Chapter 15

Sean paced back and forth along the verandah in front of Craig’s room. His fingers combed through his shaggy blonde hair over and over, his mind torn between what he wanted to do and what he had been dispatched to do.

He’d never blatantly lied to a lover before. He snorted derisively at his thoughts, almost lover he corrected himself. Craig’s ‘family’ had decided that he wouldn’t be told of the contract, he wouldn’t even be told of the danger. The only news that Craig needed to know was that fact that he was now a father.

Sean fought long and hard for them to tell Craig the truth. Not only would it give him something to think about aside from the constant pain he was now subjected to, but it would show him that they had faith in him. That they knew that he was at least mentally the man they had once known would show him that yes he was on the road to recovery. Sean drew a deep breath, one hand combing through his hair, the other on the door handle. What he was about to do was going to bring the wrath of Craig’s brothers down on him, but he wouldn’t lie to the man who will be his lover. Besides, Sean needed Craig to know that someone had faith in his abilities.

“Well?” Craig spoke from his seat in front of the window, he was acutely aware that Sean had entered the room yet hadn’t even turned his head to acknowledge his entrance.

“Well, what?” Sean asked calmly as he moved across the room to sit on the end of the bed, refusing to be drawn into an angry exchange.

“Please, Sean. I’m not stupid. You were summoned by my brothers. What. Did. They. Want?” Craig ground out.

“They wanted to talk to me.” Sean replied. “If you’ll stop getting your panties in a bunch I’ll tell you.”

“I don’t wear panties.” Craig’s voice softened slightly, “You should know that.”

“There are something’s that your brothers and Cate think that you shouldn’t be told. I disagree. Before I tell you I want you to promise me that what I’m about to say doesn’t leave this room.”

“So I get down on bended knee and beg for you to tell me the big bad secrets? Unless you’ve missed it, I can’t do bended knee, honey.” He paused, “Wait, Cate’s here?”

“Yeah I met her and I don’t expect bended knee, all I want is your assurance that I won’t have to leave, because if they know I’ve told you, your brothers will want my blood.”

“Just tell me, Sean. Please?” Craig responded.

Sean moved to kneel in front of Craig, his hand laying over Craig’s on his thigh. “There’s a contract on your life.”

“There’s a what?” Craig’s jaw dropped, his eyes flicked back and forth across Sean’s face searching for any semblance of dishonesty.

“Somebody connected to this,” Sean carefully caressed Craig’s denim covered leg. “Has decided that you should pay for what happened back there with your life.”

“What did they decide?” he asked, his voice flat gesturing upwards, to David’s room.

“Cate is going to see what she can do from home, Billy and David are going to work on it from this end and I’m going to do what I can to keep you safe.” He paused. “I want to know what you want me to do.”

“What do I want you to do?” Craig struggled to his feet pushing Sean’s assistance aside.

“Craig we’re not going to do this again.” Sean sighed, standing and following slowly after the younger man, his hands ready to catch Craig should he fall.

“Do what?” Craig responded.

“This.” Sean replied. “I want to help you Craig. Whether or not you believe it or not I want you in my life for a long time. I won’t let you put yourself in harm’s way.”

“Then you’ll understand why I don’t want you anywhere near me.” Craig sank onto the edge of the bed. “I won’t let you get hurt because of me.”

“I won’t be.” Sean answered softly, sitting on the bed and laying his hand over the top of Craig’s fist on his thigh. Fingers stroked his hand gently, as Craig unfurled his fist Sean laces their fingers together. “We’re a team now Soldier Boy, whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t like it.” Craig sighed. “I could like you, but I can’t. I won’t let myself. I can’t take losing anyone. Not again. That’s’ why you have to leave me alone. Today.”

“That’s crap. You will never lose me. I’ll be with you to the end, Soldier Boy, or until you tell me to leave.” Sean answered him.

“I thought I just did.” Craig almost smiled.

“Good job I can’t do as I’m told then isn’t it.” Sean grinned.

“What if they hurt you?” Craig murmured, “Or worse?”

“I think you should be more worried about if I hurt them.” Sean smiled at him, ducking his head to press his lips briefly against Craig’s.

“You’re a stubborn bastard.” Craig lifted one hand to twist in Sean’s mussed hair pulling him closer to briefly deepen the kiss.

“If I wasn’t you would have run me off weeks ago.” Sean admitted against Craig’s lips.

“Do they have a plan?” Craig asked “Aside from you hiding me?”

“I told them we’d take care of it. You’re my Soldier Boy. I figured you’d be full of strategy.” Sean shrugged, his hand running caressingly down Craig’s arm to come to rest at his waist. “I haven’t told you everything yet.” Sean admitted slowly.

“What else?” Craig sat straighter, immediately on edge and alert.

“You have a son.” Sean replied.

“Sweetheart, I assure you I’ve never touched a woman that way so I’m fairly certain that someone has been incredibly creative in their turkey basting or they’re taking the piss.”

“Never?” Sean raised one eyeb row in question. “Even to experiment?”

“Never.” Craig affirmed.

“Well I should explain shouldn’t I. He’s not yours biologically. A pal of yours was killed, Darren? His wife was executed by the people now after you. His five year old son, Pietro? He’s now your ward.” Sean explained.

“No!” Craig bounced to his feet, almost toppling over. “I don’t want him. They’re not to bring him here. I won’t. I can’t.”


	16. Chapter 16

A large, non-descript SUV pulled into the ranch yard before the sun had barely cleared the distant mountains. David and Billy had known of its imminent arrival and were waiting patiently at the kitchen door, warm tin mugs of coffee in their hands. Sean stood a short distance away, a thin cigarette held between the fingers of one hand, his coffee mug cradled in the other.

As the car drew to a halt near the main house, Sean took a long draw on the cigarette and then ground the smouldering butt out under his booted foot. A large man alighted from the vehicle, his crisp dark denim and stiff western cut shirt showing his discomfort with his locale without him even speaking. The taut nod the out-of-town goon sent towards Billy was enough for Sean to realize that the gorilla and their ramrod were acquainted. Opening the rear door of the SUV, man-mountain reached inside the vehicle and lifted something from the back seat.

Looking closer, Sean realized he was looking at what, in his mind, was ostensibly his new son. A tiny thin child, dark golden skin and a shock of unruly black hair he held onto the gorilla’s hand like it was his lifeline. In that moment Sean lost his heart to the youngster. He’d known fear and desperation but never had he known the fear this child had known in his short five years.

Without even thinking about his actions Sean strode forward, intent on extending a hand of friendship and warmth to the youngster. As he approached, the boy slipped behind his current protector, his face a mask of fear. Instantly regretting his impulsive action, Sean dipped to his knees in front of the goon, extending a hand to the child in greeting.

“Pietro?” Sean spoke softly, “It’s alright lad. I’m Sean. You’re safe here.”

Sean watched the tiny face peer out from behind the crisp denim-covered legs. Wide grey eyes peered at him from under the shock of thick black hair. Small white teeth gnawed at the bottom lip as he tried to understand the words he heard.

“It’s alright, Pietro.” He lifted both arms to him, cautiously beckoning the youngster into the warm haven of his arms. “I’ll keep you safe.”

The youngster extended his own tiny hand to Sean and instead of pulling Pietro into his embrace, he waited until the child stepped close enough before he closed his arms and hugged him tightly. Feeling the frantic beating of the boy’s heart against his body, Sean closed his arms and stood, lifting the youngster as he did.

“Everything go smoothly?” Billy asked the big man quietly.

“No one knows he’s even in the country.” He answered, turning to lift a small suitcase from the vehicle.

Handing the suitcase to David, he stood with his hands on his hips watching Sean soothing the youngster.

“He don’t talk much.” He nodded towards the child. “Cate wants you to find out what he knows.”

“You’re not interrogating a five year old.” Sean spoke calmly, his eyes flashing fire at his companions.

“Because that’s the type of assholes you think we are?” David asked.

“You maybe.” Sean responded. “Can’t you see he’s terrified?” Sean brushed one large hand against Pietro’s head, smoothing the unruly hair as the youngster pressed his face into Sean’s shoulder.

“Are you good with him?” Billy asked quietly, “Dom’s awake if you want to take him down there.”

“He’ll be fine with me.” Sean stated, tightening his arms around the youngster, fingers caressing the back of Pietro’s head as the boy relaxed against him.

Billy nodded as he watched the youngster in Sean’s arms, his mind drawn back to his own relationship with his eldest daughter. Wanting to give Sean the same opportunity he had been given Billy nodded in understanding.

“I’ll have some breakfast brought up for you all.” Billy replied.

“Thanks.” Sean acknowledged and turned to carry the youngster towards the barn, wanting to give him a little time to get used to his surroundings before he took him back to the room he would be sharing with Craig.

Walking inside the dimly lit barn, Sean winced as the tiny body in his arms tensed.

“What’s wrong, Pietro?” Sean asked as he knelt down, standing the youngster on his sandal clad feet.

Pietro looked up at him, his wide grey eyes shimmering with tears, his lip quivering nervously as he spoke softly. “Are you.. are you going to hurt me now?” he asked

“Who hurt you lad?” Sean lifted one large hand to press his fingers against Pietro’s face, flinching when he pulled away thinking he was about to be hit.

Pietro shook his head wildly.

“Can I call you Pete?” Sean asked softly. “A new name for your new home?”

Pietro shrugged his shoulders non-committally.

“Do you have animals at your old home?” Sean asked conversationally.

Pietro’s brows furrowed one small finger pressed to his lips as he considered the question.

“Dookens.” He answered, holding up his other hand to indicate that they had five.

“You had five dookens?” Sean responded with a grin. “Would you like to see your new dookens?”

Pietro nodded solemnly and waited while Sean scooped him up again. Striding through the barn, he stepped through the smaller back door and towards the chicken coop. Opening the high gate, he stepped inside and fastened it again before he put Pietro on his feet. He watched as Pietro moved slowly around the coop, his tiny fingers trailing across the chain fence, as he followed the chickens around their enclosure.

Never before had Sean been so happy to have a nature loving sister. For the short time they had lived together in their youth, Liv had been the proud owners of several Dookens and Chucks. She had been well into her teens before she had admitted to having chickens and ducks.

Leaning against the sturdy fence Sean watched as Pietro crawled into the hen house. Several minutes later Sean had been almost ready to kneel down and peer through the doorway when Pietro emerged from the small structure, several large brown eggs carried in the front of his stretched out t-shirt.

Presenting them to Sean he smiled shyly.

“Six.” He told Sean proudly.

“You’re a clever boy.” Sean acknowledged lifting a small bucket hanging on a nail on the side of the house and carefully took Pietro’s bounty from him. “Do you like the dookens?” he asked.

“I help mama.” He nodded. “The dookens are my job.” Nervously looking down at his feet, he scuffed his toes in the dirt. “Mama won’t be able to find me now, will she?”

Sean took a deep breath and put the bucket on the ground beside them and placed his hands on Pietro’s trembling shoulders.

“Pietro,” Sean started, waiting for the youngster to look up at him. “I’m sure that wherever your mama is, she’s waiting for you.” He cupped Pietro’s chin in his hand and looked earnestly into his face. “But until it’s time for you to be together again, will you trust us, trust me enough to look after you.”

Pietro stood for long minutes watching Sean, almost like he was trying to decipher the words he was hearing, before he nodded his head and launched himself into Sean’s arms.


	17. Chapter 17

Never had Craig wished for two functional legs more than he did at that moment. He wanted to pace. Pace out his anger, walk off the frustration of his inability to control his own life. Just walk away from the incriminating glare that Sean had been giving him since he had returned to Craig’s room. Instead he sat on his sofa, the denim of his jeans scratching across his scarred thigh, his near-to-crippled fingers scratching ineffectually at the fabric.

“I told you not to fucking bring him here.” Craig snarled. “What am I supposed to do with a five year old?”

“Love him.” Sean watched Craig through narrowed eyes and shrugged, “He doesn’t ask for much.”

“No.” Craig snapped, fighting to pull himself to his feet.

“He’s a scared little boy, Craig, he needs a Daddy.” Sean responded calmly, reaching out to help Craig to an upright position. “Someone who knows him.”

“I knew his father. I don’t know him and I don’t want him.” Craig snapped as he batted Sean’s hands away. “Send him back to his own people.”

“You are his people.” Sean sighed, squashing his own temper in an effort to reach out to his lover. “What is your problem, Soldier Boy?”

“I told you I don’t want him here.” Craig growled, the fingers of one hand closed tightly around the head of his cane as he struggled to pace.

“That wasn’t my question, Craig.” Sean murmured gently leaning forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, watching Craig closely.

Craig turned to glare at Sean then hobbled to the door and flung it open. “Get out.” Craig demanded.

Sean sighed and pulled himself to his feet. Walking slowly towards the door, he stopped in front of Craig. Pressing his hand to the edge of the door he pushed it closed. Leaning in towards Craig, he pressed his lips to Craig’s and kissed him. A short, harsh kiss, his tongue pushed into Craig’s mouth and tangled with his, one hand lifting to tangle in Craig’s hair and pull him closer. Craig relaxed into Sean’s touch for long moments and then pulled back, his eyes wide.

“What the fuck was that for?” Craig exclaimed.

Sean shrugged, “I want an answer from you Craig, then I’ll leave.”

“Isn’t it enough that I don’t want him here?” Craig answered softly, one hand lifting to trace his lips.

“No. I want to know why the thought of him being here terrifies you so much you’re crawling back into that hole you’ve been living in.” Sean stated, leaning back against the door, he folded his arms against his chest in an attempt to stop reaching out for the trembling younger man.

“Because I can’t afford to get close to him.” Craig turned away from Sean, “I can’t let him get close to me. For his own good.”

“For his good or yours?” Sean asked gently, pressing his hand against Craig’s back.

“His.” Craig answered instantly, then as his shoulders slumped. “Mine.” He murmured.

“He’s a little boy, Craig. All he wants is someone to love him.” Sean replied sympathetically.

“And I’ve got a contract on my life. Either I’ll die or he will. I don’t want him here.”

“Neither of you are going to die. Not while I’m here.” Sean affirmed wrapping his long arms around Craig’s waist, giving him the strength he thought he needed.

“You have no control over it. I can’t lose him.” Craig pulled out of Sean’s embrace and moved forward two steps. “I couldn’t save his father and I won’t lose him and I won’t let him lose another father.”

“I’ll have Billy and Dom look after him until you’re ready to take him.” Sean offered, giving him enough breathing space to cope with the situation.

“They can keep him.” Craig hobbled to his seat and flopped into it heavily, “I won’t be taking him”.

“You know what, Soldier Boy?” Sean stepped out of the room and turned back to look at Craig as he closed his hand around the doorknob. “Self pity doesn’t suit you and it’s getting really old.”

Sean closed the door with a silent finality that said more to Craig than words ever would.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Do you think he’ll change his mind?” Billy leaned over the fence rails watching Daisy May and Pietro as they followed Dom across the lawn beside their house.

“I don’t know.” Sean shrugged, turning away from the scene of domesticity in front of him. Leaning back against the fence rails, his shoulders slumped dejectedly and he sighed brokenly, rubbing one calloused hand across his face. “You know him better than I do, do you think he will?”

“Craig is the stubborn one.” Billy offered.

“Christ on a stick, I haven’t got a chance have I?” Sean muttered. Standing straighter he pushed his hands into his pockets and paced frenetically.

“Sure ye have.” Billy chuckled as he watched Sean’s discomfort before he remembered his brother’s fragile grip on sanity and health, then sobered. “Seriously, Sean, if you can’t get through to him, no one can, you’re the only one he’s even listening to.”

“He’s not listening to me.” Sean growled, scuffing his boot in the dirt at his feet in frustration.

Billy watched Sean’s dirty boot scuffing in the dirt and ached to help the man standing before him. He’d been in Sean’s boots and it wasn’t a happy or comfortable place. Craig’s stubborn pride and desolate self-outlook was wearing Sean’s perseverance down. Billy could see it was only a matter of time until Sean withdrew, if only in self preservation.

“Don’t give up on him, Sean.” Billy asked him earnestly. “It’s you keeping him here.”


	18. Chapter 18

Sean walked across the distance between the bunkhouse and the main house slowly, rolling the sleeves of his forest green work shirt up until they sat snugly just below his elbow. Stopping outside the kitchen door, he rubbed workrough hands across his stubble-covered face. Dark shadows ringed his eyes from a night spent sleeplessly pacing, tossing and turning. Eventually, as dawn tinged the mountains with its red-gold light, he'd thrown his belongings into his overnight bag and prepared to move back to his own house, away from the populated part of the Double L. Now he was dragging his sorry ass to breakfast before he left for the other side of the mountains and the solitude his weary emotions craved.

Leaning against the wall, he cast his eyes across the home yards, watching the hands and animals alike, stirring for the morning. As he stood there, silently remembering all the things he would miss about these mornings, voices drifted from the kitchen toward him. One voice in particular caused his brows to draw together, and turning quickly, he pushed the screen door open and stepped into the room filled with the scents of baking bread, sizzling bacon, and fluffy eggs.

"Close your mouth, Seanie." Liv spoke softly from her position in front of the old wood burning oven, her long dark ponytail flicking across her shoulders as she turned back to her cooking.

"But…" Sean opened his mouth to speak but his lips refused to form the words his brain was trying to speak.

"Ahh." Liv forestalled him quickly, holding one delicate finger up to him without looking away from her task.

"It's my fault, Livvie." Craig smiled nervously from where he stood in front of the industrial toaster, one gnarled hand gripping the head of his cane tightly.

"Don't care boys." Liv shook her head. "Breakfast on the Double L isn't the time to be sorting out your crap." Liv sighed, "Seanie, they need juice in the dining room." She directed him, "How’s the toast going, Craig?" she asked, not expecting an answer.

As Sean moved behind her toward the huge double door fridge, she snaked an arm out behind her and clasped his hand quickly. "Thank you." She whispered softly and returned her full attention to breakfast.

Sean leaned down to press an affectionate kiss to the base of his half-sister's neck. "No. Thank you, Lillibut." He grinned and moved to pull huge pitchers of fresh squeezed juice from the fridge and moved toward the dining room.

"Lillibut?" Craig asked softly, his eyes following Sean's departure from the room.

"Don’t ask. Its one of those silly childhood nicknames that stuck, you'll have to ask him how he came up with it. Something to do with him being big and all powerful and me being tiny. Fancies himself as Gulliver, methinks." She shrugged, as she transferred the bacon onto two large platters and shifted them to the huge kitchen table. Sliding the scrambled eggs from the heavy iron skillet to two deep bowls she had already prepared, she wiped her hands on the pink bibbed apron she wore and walked across the room to stand behind Craig.

"Want me to take over so you can talk to him before breakfast." She smiled, one long fingered hand rubbing Craig's back between his shoulder blades gently, "Or do you want to make him squirm until after breakfast?"

“Methinks your sibling doesn’t squirm nearly as often as he should.” Craig smiled fondly as he leaned into Liv’s welcome touch. “It might be fun to let him ponder for a while, don’t you think?” he turned his head to wink at the slender woman who ruled the Double L.

“Damned amusing, I think.” Liv leaned up to press a kiss against his cheek and grinned as she lifted the platter of warm toast from the counter in front of Craig. “Do you need a hand into the dining room?” she asked her voice filled only with concern and none of the pity Craig had been dreading.

“If nothing else, Liv,” Craig replied, folding his fingers around the cane he’d hooked over the edge of the counter, “This has taught me that slow and steady wins the race.” He smiled at her and waved her away. “Besides, there’s nothing like making an entrance.”

“It’s good to see you back, Craigie.” Liv kissed his stubbled cheek again before she turned and carried the platter of toast into the dining room.

Craig followed her path and pushed the large swinging door open with one hand before he stepped through into the room filled with Double L family.

You could have heard a pin drop as the room’s occupants looked up to verify the unexpected arrival. Craig ducked his head and smiled as he watched the reactions of his immediate family. He didn’t miss the grin splitting Dom’s face and the slight nod of confirmation from Liv before she turned her radiant smile his way. Billy’s jaw had dropped far enough for Dom to lean over playfully and caress under Billy’s chin, pushing his slack jaw closed. Viggo was rubbing his eyes in what Craig could only assume was disbelief only to be met with a scolding smack from Liv. The hands were similarly gobsmacked.

“Anyone would think you’d never seen me before.” Craig muttered suddenly embarrassed at the attention he was attracting.

“Good to see you, Craig.” Dom congratulated him with a wide cheery grin, “We’ve missed you.”

“Good to hear,” Craig ducked his head to hide the sheen of tears that filled his own eyes and lowered himself gratefully into the empty chair beside Sean. Pulling the chair awkwardly back in to the table, he leaned across and slowly started to fill the plate that Sean had placed in front of him.

Breakfast passed in a blur of contented happiness for Craig; until he’d actually set himself down at the table, he hadn’t realized just how much he missed the companionship of meals with family and friends;the sounds of family affection as parents tended to their children’s needs. He couldn’t help but surreptitiously watch Pietro as Dom lavished just as much love and attention on the small boy as he did on Daisy-May.

As the meal concluded, the hands stacked their dishes in the dishwasher and went about their business. As if by some sort of unspoken agreement, their companions filtered slowly away until Criag and Sean were the only ones left at the table.

Sean’s head rested on his hands, his gaze focused on the plate that still sat between his elbows.

“I’m sorry.” Craig murmured softly, not daring to look towards Sean.

“What for?” Sean asked fatalistically, “I shouldn’t be pushing you.” He shrugged.

“If you didn’t push me, I’d still be lying in that bed feeling sorry for myself.” Craig answered honestly, one gnarled hand reached out to touch Sean’s forearm. “You’re right self pity isn’t me and I’m trying to change it.”

“You will, Soldier Boy.” Sean laid his hand over Craig’s, “By the time I get back, you’ll be back to your old self I’m sure.”

“You’re going somewhere?” Craig couldn’t withhold the quaver in his voice.

Sean’s head dropped until he was looking at the forest green placemat that sat between his elbows, subconsciously counting the fine bamboo strips as he struggled to find the words to say to Craig.

“I know what I said to you Soldier Boy, but I can’t do this anymore.” Sean sighed. “I want to stay here for you, but I can’t, I have to go home…for me.”


	19. Chapter 19

Craig watched Sean carefully as he stood and made his way to the kitchen door silently. When Sean’s fingers closed around the doorknob, a strangled breath burst from Craig’s lips.

“This is it?” Craig asked softly.

“No.” Sean stated, “I’ll be back, Soldier Boy. I wouldn’t leave you like that. But I have to look out for me too.”

“I never meant to hurt you, Sean.” His voice was little more than a whisper but in the strained silence of the dining room, it was as loud as a gunshot.

“You haven’t hurt me, Soldier Boy, I just need to give us both some space.” Sean spoke softly, his eyes searching Craig’s face carefully; there was so much more he wanted to explain, but opening that can of worms would only lead to hurt, for both of them.

“I don’t fucking want space. I want you.” Craig cursed, blind to the tension in Sean’s voice, as he lurched to his feet with the clumsiness of a newborn.

“I know that.” Sean sighed with tolerant exasperation as he stood and backed out of Craig’s path, “I’ve always known that.”

“Then why the fuck are you leaving me?” His voice was filled with his confusion and anger.

“Because I want,” Sean paused and cussed under his breath. “No, because I NEED you to need me the way I need you. Not just because I’m the only one who will put up with your shit, or because I’m the only one who is convenient.” He shrugged fatalistically. So much more begged to be purged but without hurting the smaller man they wouldn’t be spoken, Sean wouldn’t hurt him.

“So, what? You’re punishing me?” Craig whispered, as he sank back into the chair, his gnarled fingers threaded shakily through his hair, his eyes downcast as he looked at the table, waiting for Sean’s answer, his own anger building with every second that ticked past.

“No.” Sean responded quickly, “I’m punishing me, but I don’t expect you to understand that. Just let me go, Craig. I’ll be back and then we can work on making things work.” Sean’s temper was starting to simmer and he glanced almost desperately at the door needing to escape before this became something irreparable.

“Because they sure as fuck aren’t working now are they?” Craig spat as he turned in his seat, presenting his back to Sean. His voice was flat as he continued. “Is this what you do? Make people want you, then fuck off?”

“I’m going to leave, now, before one of us says something we regret.” Sean replied, the edge of anger biting into his words, his teeth clenched against the words he wanted to say.

“Why worry?” Craig shrugged, “We both know this won’t work, if you’re going to run away now, why even start it?”

“Soldier Boy?” Sean murmured as he moved to kneel at Craig’s feet, “Don’t do this now. This won’t end the way you want it to, and it won’t end prettily, either.”

“Why not now?” Craig growled as he pushed away from Sean, rising awkwardly to his feet and stumbling gracelessly across the room, before turning to face Sean again. “This is my fault, isn’t it? I should have let you fuck me that first night I came back and this would all be done.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sean rose and pushed his fingers angrily through his shaggy hair. “Don’t do this now, Craig. Just let me go and we can sort this out later. Now is not the time to do this.”

“Why not? Why do you have to be the fucking good one all the time? Why can’t you forget about this,” Craig waved his hand towards his legs, “and do what you really want? Why when I push do you back away? Why won’t you fight with me?”

“Is that what this is about?” Sean stalked across the room, his voice ominously low. He only stopped when he was inches from Craig. Sean’s entire body trembled with barely contained rage, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “You want to fight with me?” He reached up to push his fist against Craig’s shoulder. “You want to tell me what a bastard I am? Or maybe you want me to tell you that I should use you like every other lover you’ve had? Is that what you want? Or is this all because you’ve decided that you’re frustrated enough to seek someone out and you’ve decided I’m the lucky one?” He paused, barely able to stop himself now that he had started the flooding torrent of angry words oozing from the festering wound that was their relationship. “How about you tell me what you want from me, because I’m sick and fucking tired of trying to give you what you want.”

“I’m sick and tired of you being so goddamned nice all the time.” Craig yelled into Sean’s face, “You’re so fucking understanding. I can’t stand it anymore.”

“Because, you self-absorbed little shit, YOU need a friend. You’ve pushed your family away. You’ve forgotten your friends. You have no one except your pitiful little existence rotting away in your bedroom, because you’re too busy having a pity party. And all you think I want you for is a fuck? Let me tell you, Sunshine, you’re not THAT good.”

As the sound of his voice faded, Sean saw the stricken look Craig tried to hide and immediately hated every one of his angry words. Drawing a deep, shuddering breath, he cursed sharply under his breath and turned on his heel, stalking from the room, and slamming the door behind him.

His booted feet kicked up clouds of dust as he stomped towards his truck. His hands visibly shook as he grasped the door handle. Swinging the door of the battered vehicle open so hard its body rocked, he lifted himself into the driver’s seat and sat for a moment trying to regain his composure.

Folding his arms across the top of the steering wheel, Sean exhaled a long ragged breath and let his head loll forward onto his arms. He hadn’t meant to say any of the hurtful things that he had thrown at the broken young man, but he couldn’t help himself. Craig pushed and pushed him until he had lashed out like a cornered animal, and he had lacked the self restraint to withhold his own temper.


	20. Chapter 20

Sean watched as a wild daisy, it’s petals misshapen and it’s stem crushed in a trembling, clumsy hand appeared in the doorway.

“Forgive me?” Craig spoke as he moved to stand behind the crumpled flower and lift his eyes to meet Sean’s.

Craig’s plaintive plea for forgiveness, melted the icy tendrils of sorrow that had gripped his heart since he left the dining room.

“Nuthin to forgive.” He answered gruffly, looking away before the sheen of unexpected tears in his eyes could betray him.

“I don’t know what makes me do that.” Craig stepped into the doorway fully.

“I do.” Sean responded. “You’re tired, you hurt, you feel like you’re the only one in the world that feels like that and you just want to be normal.”

“Or…” Craig looked into Sean’s face as a disarming grin crossed his face, “We could just say that I’m an arsehole and leave it at that.”

“That too.” Sean answered, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, the tension melting under the heat of Craig’s self deprecating humour. “But no more than me, so I think we’re square.”

“Where are we going?” Craig asked quietly.

“My place.” Sean replied automatically before Craig’s words sank in and his eyes snapped back to look into his would be lover’s, “Wait, we?”

“We…” Craig stumbled over his words, his mouth cotton dry, suddenly realizing that Sean had asked for his presence. “I thought….”

“You don’t have to do this now, Soldier Boy.” Sean interrupted quietly, mistaking the sudden nervous jitters for a fear of what would happen between them, one large gnarled hand reaching out to cover Craig’s on the door frame. “I’m an arsehole, ask anyone, I was wrong to expect so much.”

“No. I’m the arsehole.” Craig shrugged, “I thought we had already established that?” he grinned disarmingly as he pushed his hair off his forehead and looked up into Sean’s eyes. “Is there still a ‘we’?”

“Do you want there to be?” Sean’s voice dropped to little more than a whisper in his hopeful anticipation of Craig’s answer.

Craig looked into Sean’s eyes and took a deep breath. Climbing awkwardly into the cabin of the truck Craig waited, and as the wave of anticipated pain washed over him he turned, pale faced to look into Sean’s face.

“Now, where are we going?” Craig smiled nervously.

“I’m serious, Craig.” Sean murmured tonelessly, his thumb gently caressing the back of Craig’s hand. “You don’t need to prove anything to me, I will wait for you.”

“So am I.” Craig answered, “Without totally embarrassing myself with bloody sappy cliches, you are everything I never knew I needed. I can’t do this,” he waved his hand down his body cursorily, “without you.”

“You can do a lot more than you give yourself credit for.” Sean replied.

“No. I can’t.” Craig’s voice was oddly flat as he stared into Sean’s eyes.

He looked away from Craig and let his gaze roam across the home yards, his eyes following Billy as he chased Daisy May and Pietro through a field filled with tiny yellow flowers, his heart swelling with the hope that his future held a similar fate.

“I’m waiting, Sean,” Craig’s voice was oddly calm, “Are we going home?”

Sean inhaled deeply, settling his rattled nerves, and turned the key in the ignition with trembling fingers.

Craig watched as Sean started the truck and pushed it roughly into gear. Moving slowly, he slid across the seat until his thigh touched Sean’s.

“Slowly, Soldier Boy.” Sean warned. “I mean it. No more stopping and starting. No more pulling away. It’s all or nothing now. Either you want me in your life or you don’t.”

Craig closed his eyes for a moment, and exhaled a long breath, his jaw trembled as he fought the words that he couldn’t quite form. In response, he lifted his hand and placed it firmly on Sean’s thigh his fingers clumsily caressing the tense denim clad muscle.

“I’m serious, Craig.” Sean lifted Craig’s hand away as he drove along the long gravel road that led out of the home yards.

“So am I, Sean.” Craig returned his hand to Sean’s thigh, his fingers caressing the seam along the inside of Sean’s leg.

“damn you make it hard to say no.” Sean murmured as he slowed the vehicle to almost stopped and lifted one hand behind Craig’s head to pull their mouths together for a hard, wet kiss.

“How far to home?” Craig asked with a grin as he licked the corner of Sean’s lips.

“Too far.” Sean muttered as he pulled away, and forced the truck into motion again.

Craig sat beside him, not even noticing the surroundings outside the vehicle, his head tilted to rest on Sean’s shoulder, his hand idly caressing Sean’s thigh as he felt the play of muscles in his thigh as Sean shifted gears. For the first time in his recent memory, he relaxed, his tense body melting against Sean as he drifted into slumber even as the pick up traversed the rutted dirt trails to Sean’s home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“C’mon sleeping beauty.” Sean nuzzled his stubble covered cheek against Craig’s face.

“Mmmm?” Craig mumbled incoherently, one hand wiping the residue of contented sleep from his eyes.

“We’re home.” Sean offered, his hand stroking Craig’s clean shaven cheek tenderly.

“I’m sorry.” Craig murmured apologetically.

“It’s alright.” Sean sighed, knowing that his dreams were being crushed beneath Craig’s fears, his eyes closed momentarily before focusing on Craig’s face again. “I’ll take you back to the bunk house.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Craig responded. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get my shit together.”

“It’s okay, Soldier Boy.” Sean slid off the seat to stand outside the truck’s cab, extending a hand to Craig as he did. “Good things are worth waiting for.”


End file.
